This Week in Pakistan: The General and the Judge

This week, several weeks after orchestrating his election as CEO, the venerable, Napoleonesque-statured self appointed, gullet forced leader of Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf, paranoid as a squirrel with no nuts in November declared a state of emergency, causing the shutdown of all media, and the arrest of known (and unknown) opposition members. 2 days later (apparently the number 1 US ally in the war against terrorism doesn’t quite warrant a prompt response) GW suggested rather contradictorily that Pervez should hold elections and give up his post as army chief, but that Musharraf “has been a strong fighter against extremists and radicals.” Not sure which radicals he was talking about, the coddled Taliban in Kashmir that Musharraf has made mutual survival deals with, or the freedom fighting lawyers and Judges playing the role of Burmese Monks. (no, I know who he meant)

But none of this should be news to any of us, who full well know the backhand and forehand of US foreign policy. To be precise from 1953 to 1979 (look it up, I’m too tired to go over it again). US foreign policy deserves a resounding revolt of sorts itself, for being inadequate, flawed, and in fact highly damaging to the vital interests and security of the US. Actually it’s so bad that the US needs an entirely new policy on how to even go about putting together a foreign policy. Because today anyone can see clearer than even history can show, on HDTV right before your eyes, for Katie, Matt, Oprah, Ellen, Jimmy, Conan, Jay, Dave, and all the gals at the View to dissect in detail for even the ficklest American viewing (if not-voting) audience, that the number one threat to the prosperity, security, and survival of America today is it’s retarded, and genetically mis-engineered, foreign policy. At the hands of nincompoops and boobs who do not have the intellectual capacity to imagine the havoc they are wreaking in the name of that best generation they continuously evoke. Even Ronald Reagan is choking on this pretzel in his grave.

Thanks to incompetent brinkmanship, here’s the disaster awaiting us all as a result of the situation in Pakistan. Ready? Nukes in the hands of the Taliban (if they don’t have them already). Musharraf’s days are clearly numbered. Actually I’ll predict one of 2 end results right now. By jailing the opposition, judging from the homecoming queen parade Bhutto received 2 weeks ago, either Musharraf will be assassinated, or he will be deposed by a fellow General (possibly even an American one). I’d take option one, that would at least end my misery and I could simply go into the history books as a “what might have been, had he acted sooner”. Being arrested and then hanged, wouldn’t be as romantic. What he should be doing instead is unmentionably obvious. Unmentionable because he wouldn’t listen anyway.

I say this rather coldly because having been given the divine opportunity of full control, Musharraf had every opportunity to establish fair and accountable democracy (by force even) in Pakistan. But Musharraf fell prey to that nasty cobra of Pakistani politics, namely that identical opposition parties in Pakistan are differentiated only by the egos of their party bosses, and the timely bomb blast now and then.

All of the political unrest in Pakistan’s democracy is in the details. If you delve, you see the pattern clearly. The solution obvious. Pakistan’s democracy is simply flawed. There are procedural loopholes that allow electioneering and fraudulent election results. This pisses you off, especially if you lose one. And it has been happening since Benazir Bhutto’s dad was overthrown by the other US supported general, Ziaulhaq. Fix the rules and make sure no one cheats, and you’ll have a pretty decent working self centering democracy. Decent enough to be stable.

But Pakistan doesn’t have this, Musharraf wouldn’t let them, partly because in doing so he would reform himself out of a job, but I think it was his ego that has ended up ultimately doing him in. All of this though, is the fault of US foreign policy, because Musharraf was like a US Pit let off his choke chain, to show all the other fighting canines in Pakistan just how bad this little bitch can be. And that is exactly how the US treats little dictators. Specially the short ones. All I know is if I was Musharraf, I wouldn’t take any military flights for a while. In Pakistan, Generals with political liability, who get into military planes, don’t land very often.

And what does this have to do with us as Iranians you might ask? Nothing and Everything. Nothing because even though we should, we couldn’t care less what happens in Pakistan. Everything, because if we ever get another chance at democracy, we’d better have heeded this example we are watching unfold.

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