Like pieces of puzzle, it is all coming together. It is inevitable. The war with Iran—that is. The signs are everywhere. Any individual with access to internet can clearly see the unnerving symbolism. The wheel has been set in motion and there is no turning back. The two countries are on a collision course and just about everything around us is pointing to that unfortunate direction.
Here are the signs:
1. Asked about the predicament of Iran’s nuclear ambitions, French president Sarkozy rolled to his right and discharged a suspicious sound from the vicinity of his buttocks, which clearly means that French are ready to participate in a bombing campaign against Iran.
2. Israel’s Natural Resources Deputy Minister in an interview with WSJ said that the amount of rain in the Middle East will double this winter, which really means bombs will be raining down on Iran by this winter.
3. Paris Hilton while shopping in Beverly Hills for a new cell phone told Paparazzi that she goes through a cell phone every week, which really means, bomb these fucking Iranians and get it over with already.
4. President Bush, while visiting wounded soldiers at Walter Reed Medical Center, laughingly told reports that his VP, Dick Cheney, has managed to hunt for the past two years without shooting anybody in the face in reference to the 2006 accident where the VP shot and injured a fellow hunter in a Texas ranch, which really means Cheney is formulating the plans to smoke every Iranian that happens to be floating in a canoe in the Persian gulf.
5. Steve Jobs, the brain behind iPod and iPhone, is working on a plan to introduce a new killer technology at the end of this fall. Jobs told the eager Apple diehards that the name of the new gadget will stars yet again with “letter i,” which means iRan, also starting with letter i, will be bombed at the end of this fall for sure.
6. Rudy Juliani in a Republican presidential debate mentioned the war on drugs and reiterated that the US must militarily intervene in Columbia to take out the drug lords, which was a stab at president Ahmadinejad who appeared at the Columbia University a few months back.
7. And of course the most compelling evidence of the invasion of Iran is the recent concert by LA Persian band, Black Cats, which featured their new song, “baby joon, darim bar-megardim,” which clearly shows that Iran will be bombed and Black Cats will return to pursue their lifelong dream of opening a beauty salon in southern part of Tehran.