I looked at the Sunday paper this weekend, all the ads and Christmas shopping items, and all the happy faces of perfect ethnically diverse models all looking excited, festive, happy, and hopeful at the arrival of yet another American Christmas season. What a great time it is! The weather gets crisp (even in LA) and the people all look snugglier and more huggable than usual.
What amazes me is this concept of merely wishing for something and having it magically appear under the tree on Christmas day. Each American believes in this myth of the blindest of hope. As Iranians, we are of course, more skeptical. Possibly because we’ve been around the block a few 2500 times or so, having been let down by all 3 gods numerous times. But I’m always game (if not gamey), so here goes my list, I’ll let you know if anything happens;
Dear Santa,
I know you are really busy, this being the last 2 weeks before your major shipping night and coordinating all the Amazon.com orders and all, so I’ll be brief. All I really want for Christmas is an apology. Well several apologies actually but once you get the gist of the first one, the others should be pretty much the same.
The first apology I want is for just one person in the US to apologize for the government interfering in the purest and most peaceful transition to democracy that we ever had, namely the Mossadegh era backstab, now easily the main impetus behind every single US-Iran argument since 1953. Can you have one of your elves make me that apology? It doesn’t even have to work, it just needs to look like a real apology.
The other apology I want is for one person (it can be the same person from apology 1) in the US to apologize for the US supporting both sides of the Iran-Iraq war. Come on Nick! You have to admit that was really naughty and certainly not nice!
Finally, the last apology I want is for someone (this time with blue eyes) in the US to apologize to the world, for the gross mis-investment of the immense eon-changing wealth of the luckiest and most industrious nation in history, squandering it’s god-given opportunity to help solve the world’s relatively simple problems of hunger, poverty, disease, freedom, and injustice, only instead to madly put useless immense energy and effort into devising more cost effective ways of killing people.
So that’s it, just 3 apologies, if it’s too tough, you can put the first 2 back on the shelf, and I’ll take just the last one. Also no need to wrap it up. I can just wear it on my sleeve.
PS> I think your list may be a bit off, because I am not sure you have been leaving enough coal in some peoples’ stockings as you should have been. Although now that I think about it, that could explain George Bush’s newfound fascination with re-invigorating US development of clean Coal energy.
Thanks Santa, I love you man.
Sincerely, Timmy (Teymour)
