The singletons amongst us are cruelly reminded that, once again, despite our best efforts, there will be no romance on this cruellest-of-cruel days… the dreaded Valentine’s Day. Yes folks, Valentine’s Day is just over a week away and there is no escaping it! My personal belief has always been that this special day was a well thought out scam created by the greeting card companies and florists of this world, to cash in on our hard earned monies…. Jerks.
But single or not, Valentine’s Day is a strange affair at the best of times. Happy couples seem to appear from nowhere and the City is suddenly awash with red roses, shop windows are crammed with chocolate, perfume and lingerie… and everyone seems to be in a permanent state of what can only be described as love-induced “ga-ga” behaviour…. With all their nuzzling and staring longingly into each other eyes…. Oh please! Someone pass me the sick-bucket…. The older I get, the more annoying it seems to become.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t be quick to assume that these are the rants of a single person…. All im saying is that there are better ways to spend your time (and money) on Valentine’s Day and hopefully your evening will end beautifully if you take a few notes from what I have to say. My first nugget of wisdom is for those of you that are thinking of reserving a table in some fancy restaurant for dinner, my advice would be to do it the following night… when restaurants aren’t so poised to rob you blind with offerings of special Valentine’s menus coupled with a glass of cheap fizz, designed to make the lady feel special and the man feel extravagant. Just one day after the big day, you can save up to 30-40% on your overall spend in most London restaurants, and you aren’t obliged to eat their specially selected menu! Trust me on this, because once upon a time, it was my job to create these menus and promote them on behalf of the fine dining establishments I worked for. It’s just a giant ploy to make you their cash-cow for one night, in the “less-than-booming” month of February.
So, my suggestion is stay at home…! But you aren’t exactly off the hook yet, because I think romance is important in any relationship. Men and women alike, take note! Although (most) men prance around like romance is beneath them, the truth is you all crave attention and pampering every now and again, just as we, the fairer sex, do. So whether you are a guy or girl, don’t brush Valentine’s Day aside this year… Why not cook something fantastic (and not overly complicated) for your loved one this year? Even better, why not cook something together? For me personally, this is one of my biggest turn-ons, when a man comes into the kitchen to (willingly) assist me and keep me company throughout my preparations.
Allow me to be your Muse and help inspire your creative juices. I have my swat team of researchers on the case (well, ok, just me really) investigating the perfect meals for your special evening, that are guaranteed to put fuel in your engine and fan the flames of passion. I know it sounds corny, but let’s face it… You have been with the same person for nearly 10 years and there is no way on earth that things are just how they used to be when you first started dating, so why shun the help? Sit back, relax and let your own personal menu planner (that’s me) put a few suggestions together for you, guaranteed to make you feel 21 all over again!
Oysters are definitely one of the most famous tools for seductions, but the fact is (for most of us, anyway) they taste like crap and sometimes when you swallow one, it seems to instantly want to come right back up again. Not good… and of course they don’t really mix well with alcohol at all. So how about safer (and more enjoyable) choices…? Asparagus? Um, well there is a slightly unpleasant after-effect to them and those of who enjoy these delicacies will know just what I mean and for the purpose of romance, I would steer well clear of them on this occasion. What about Lobster? Yes, it is delicious, few people would disagree here, but have you ever tried to prepare one? Only to fiddle endlessly for hours on end and be able to extract a tiny handful of meat from the whole damn thing! No, no, no…. This isn’t the kind of laborious job you should undertake today. There are a few guidelines that I keep in mind at all time, which should help you understand the whole point of linking food with romance… The key is to create something that is;
A) Simple and not overly complicated to prepare
B) Visually appealing and delicious
C) Easy to share (because its promotes interaction)
D) Slightly messy and can be eaten with your hands (which is VERY sensual)
If you follow the above rules, your evening will be a memorable one for all the right reasons, and it would probably inject a much needed dose of fun and romance back into your relationship… well, for one night, at least!
I think the perfect way to start off the evening is with a nice Aperitif… perhaps a cocktail or an ice-cold crisp glass of fiercely bubbly champagne… A delicious drink is the perfect way to break the tensions of the day and ease you in to your night of romantic shenanigans. Fear not, if you are tee-total and alcohol isn’t for you, then make a nice fruit puree, by throwing a handful of your favourite fruits (Perhaps some berries) in a pan and add enough water to barely cover them and then sweeten them with a couple of tablespoons of sugar and allow them to simmer on a medium heat until the fruit is cooked. Allow mix to cool and throw in a blender to make a nice fruit puree. Simply pour a few tablespoons of the puree in to a wine glass and top up with lemonade or sparkling water.
So that’s the drinks out of the way and now on to the meal. Ideally you want to make something that wont mean you are slaving away endlessly over a hot stove, only to spend 2 minutes eating, before you end up spending another 2 hours cleaning the kitchen. So simplicity is key here, and in order to serve up ‘sexy’ food you should be thinking of what can be shared and eaten using your hands… sensual items with dips and sauces, sticky and juicy, more-ish and very, very messy. Unleash your animal instinct and choose something that you know will be enjoyed down to the very last mouthful. Eating with abandon is extremely seductive…
Why not start with some skewered items that are easy to pick up and easy to eat, such as;
1) Chicken marinated in an inch of freshly grated ginger, olive oil, honey and soy sauce served, grilled and served with a Satay sauce and grilled spring onions
2) Beef marinated in a teaspoon of sesame oil, juice and zest of half an orange, chopped rosemary or thyme and some balsamic vinegar
3) Tiger prawns marinated in olive oil, crushed garlic and dried chilli flakes
Make sure you have some sauce/dip on the side, because this is what makes things really sensual and exciting. When you make the marinade for any of the above skewers, just pour the leftover marinade in a little pan and gently cook it through and serve it on the side of your skewers as a dipping sauce. Why not feed each other and make that the stipulation for every course throughout the night? It’s just a bit of harmless fun, but also a great way to keep things lively and entertaining.
What else? How about some Thai lettuce wraps? I love these… the principle is basically to have stacks of lettuce leaves ready to be filled with shredded chicken breast, beef or fish etc.. with mountains of thinly sliced vegetables like peppers, carrots, shredded cabbage, spring onions as well as some cilantro, cold vermicelli noodles and a good selection of dips. My favourite dips are soy sauce with fresh grated ginger and a little water in it, sweet chilli sauce, peanut Satay sauce and rice wine vinegar dip with chopped shallots and chilli, sweetened with a little sugar. They are messy, sexy and delicious all in one, and the best part? THEY AREN’T FATTENING AT ALL!!!
Fondues are also great for sharing. Now, melted cheese just doesn’t agree with me, so I adore the Vietnamese equivalent, which is a steaming hot bowl of broth usually made with a base of homemade (or good quality shop-bought) chicken stock, some soy sauce, some ginger and garlic and a little sesame oil. Then you bring the hot broth to the table (preferably in a Fondue pan so you have a heat source underneath it) and prepare a platter of sliced raw meats, such as thin slivers of beef fillet or just a big seafood platter or shrimp, scallops and squid rings and using chopsticks or fondue forks you cook your chosen meat/fish gently in the broth in front of you. A platter of vegetables is also essential and I use things like Shiitake mushrooms, Bok/Pak-choi, Chinese cabbage, spring onions and sliced red chillies etc. Not only is it tasty and fun, but as you add more items to the broth, its flavour intensifies and it becomes more and more delicious. Once again, the whole dish is very low in calories, carbs and fat, so its all just a steaming hot bowl of goodness and things like ginger, chillies and all the protein (from meat & Fish) are actually all major Aphrodisiacs! So it’s a win/win situation!
Last but not least is the most important meal of any Valentine’s Day and that is of course, dessert… Anything heavy and creamy would just ruin all the fabulous food you’ve consumed and probably make you far too sluggish to enjoy any planned romance. So instead, keep it light but there is no reason for it to be anything short of tantalising and delectable… I just love juicy sugary-sweet giant strawberries, but I like mine dipped in chocolate, which makes them extra special. Best way to melt chocolate is to find some top-quality chocolate (preferably 70% cocoa) in a bowl over a pan of boiling water and it won’t take long at all. Once melted, remove chocolate from boiling pan of water and quickly dip the strawberries in the chocolate and place on a tray lined with baking parchment / non-stick paper and allow to cool or refrigerate them briefly. I also like to have some chocolate sauce as dipping sauce for other fruits such as pineapples, grapes and of course bananas. Chocolate and bananas were created to be together! It’s worth mentioning that this kind of dessert ‘travels’ well and does not need to be consumed over the dinner table. So go and light some candles in the bathroom and run a nice hot bath and pour in some exotic oils and switch on some mellow, soulful tunes to listen to and close the door behind you…. The rest, as they say, is better left unsaid… And for crying our loud, leave the god damn dishes ‘til the next day!
So my friends, whether single or not, you deserve a little pampering this year! And there is only one thing better than doing something special for someone you love and that is, doing something special for yourself! After all, you are pretty damn fabulous and like L’Oreal says it’s “Because you’re worth it!” So loosen the purse strings and splurge a little on some yummy food, scented candle (Vanilla being my personal favourite) and some exotic bath oil… I guarantee you, it will be the best Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had and even better than that? It will be our naughty little secret…. !
