JJ, Maz Jobrani and I are like peas and pods! We go back a long way, actually not that long, just a few years but who is counting?!Last week we decided to go camping again and we had lots of fun.
Maz: allo? Anonymouse lets go camping; I need some fresh air and peace and quiet time.
Mouse: Ok let me put JJ on so we can 3 way talk.
JJ: hey guys what’s happening?
Maz: we want to go camping, are you in?
JJ: do they have wireless access at the camp?
Mouse:bubba we’re going to be in nature, like Amish people.Can’t you leave your laptop at home for once?
JJ: come on guys you know I feel naked without my laptop.
Mouse: there are some camps with wireless access and if you must we can go to those camps AGAIN!
Maz: Okay it is settled then.Mouse will you pack up the stuff and pick JJ first and then me?
Mouse:Okay I’ll see you guys soon.
Maz:hmmm fresh air.I love it.LoveIt, loveIt, loveIT!
Mouse:JJ here get this end so we can roll out the tent.
JJ: Eh. I am not handy with these things.Ask Maz.
Mouse:Maz help me bro, JJ is too lazy.
Maz:Come on JJ.You get this end – stick the poles in – and voila the tent is set! Now was that too hard?
JJ: not but you guys do it better.
Maz:ok let’s eat.Let’s start the fire and barbeque like cave men did before us!Mouse give me the charcoals.
Mouse:I didn’t bring charcoal.Last time we cooked at camp, JJ gave us charcoal fluid marinated chicken.I can still taste it.
JJ: Eh. Bubba that wasn’t my fault!You guys got drunk and kept encouraging me to pour more and more lighter fluid and I was drunk too.I don’t even remember what we ate.
Mouse: I brought sandwiches.Let’s eat.
Later that evening sitting around a campfire
Maz:Mouse give us some cold beers.
Mouse: I didn’t bring any beer.Nasalamatea we are Iranians, so I brought what every red blooded Iranian brings to a camp, Vodka with cucumber yogurt dip.
Maz:bubba who drinks Vodka with yogurt anymore?
Mouse:Iranian women wear high heels to parks for13-bedar and Iranian men drink vodka with yogurt and cucumber. So?
JJ:okay bahs nakonid. Give us the vodka.
Mouse:Maz I think our neighbor sitting outside his tent is staring at us and looks kinda suspicious.
Maz:Who? him? Oh I see.Well what do you expect, here are 3 Middle Eastern men camping by themselves and sees one of them hunched over his laptop like that terrorist guy in Kurt Russell’s Executive Decision and they go all Fox News on our ass!JJ what are you checking anyway?
Mouse: what are we going to bomb? The tents?! The camp?!
JJ: ghalat kardeh.You want me to go straighten him out?
Mouse:That’s ok lets have some shots.Cheers!ChiChiChiCheers!!
Maz: don’t copy me!
Later than night going to sleep inside the tent.
Maz: hey, hey, HEY!What are you doing JJ? (JJ is rolling over ala Broke Back Mountain 🙂
JJ: nothing, I’m just trying to put my cell phone on the floor and grab some chips.
Maz:Mouse why you brought only one airbed?
Mouse: last time JJ punctured the other one with his keys.
JJ: that was an accident.I’m going to go outside and check my laptop. You guys are not going to let me sleep anyway.
Mouse:Maz you sleep on the bed.JJ just don’t sleep on this side of the airbed when you come back, you are heavier than Maz and don’t want you rolling over me.
Maz: so he rolls over me?
JJ: I won’t even go to bed.Go to sleep bubba.
Maz: Good morning.Take a deep breath, hmmmm, love the fresh air in the morning.JJ come on man go sleep inside, don’t hunch over the bench like this, you’ll get backache.
Mouse: So what do we do now? Want to go fishing?What about JJ? He is not going to get up for a while.
Maz: Let’s go get some breakfast and then we can relax on our hammocks and wait for the sleeping beauty here to get up.