When an iranian writes in english
This letter was written by an employee of the NIOC National Iranian Oil C., about fifty years ago. Someone pulled it out of the archive for laughs. But the name of the person who wrote this letter has been erased for secrecy.
Dear Mr. Hamilton:
Hello sir, “I am your servent, very very much”.
I am writing to you because “all the way to the handle of the knife has reached my bone. “My hands grab your skirt”, Mr. Hamilton, “Please reach my scream”, Mr. Hamiton, “from the hands of this man, Ahmady” . I don’t know “what a wet wood I have sold him” that from the very first day he has been “pulling the belt to my lift” With all kinds of “cat dancing” he has tried to become the “eye and the light” of Mr.Wilson.
He made so much “mouse running” that finally Mr.Wilson “became donkey” , and appointed Mr.Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work “under his hand”
Mr.Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his right hand man, but “my eye didn’t not drink water”, and I knew that all these were “hat play”, and he was trying to put a “hat on my head” I “put the seal of silence to my lips” and did not say anything. Since that he was just “putting watermelon under my arms” Knowing that this transfer was only “good for his aunt” , I started begging him to forget that I ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. I said “you saw camel, you did not see camel” … .but he was not “getting of the devils donkey”.. .”what headache shall I give you” I am now forced to work in the mail house with bunch of “blind, bald, height and half height” people. “Imagine how much my ass burns”
Now Mr.Hamilton, “I turn around your head” you are my only hope and my “back and shelter”… .”I swear you to the 14 innocents” please “do some work for me”….”in the resurrection day l’ll grasp your skirt”… “I have six head bread eaters” I kiss your hand and
Leg “
Your servant