I really hate to write a blog that is comprised of such negative thoughts. The truth is that the majority of my time I am so happy that there is not enough hours in the day to work and study. The only time I have to write a blog would be when I feel so sick that I cant function to do the things in my life that matter.
I’m Tehran born, raised in States. I love my country(both).
I have been the victim of several racially motivated attacks. I first created this account in august but really didnt think it would add much substance to this site to talk about something so sad.
This may be a shock to some people but in some parts of this country that are not as diverse as say NY, or CA, every one of middle eastern decent is blocked into as Arab.
This new years eve I was once again an innocent victim. After the incident I told the freinds I was with that I didnt want to have anything to them even though they werent the ones that directly harmed me. One of them was the only girl that I have met in the past three years that I thought was interesting, smart, and beautifull.
My real problem is that I cut and run from everyone. The only people that I have trusting relationships are with a handfull of childhood friends. Anytime people put me under risk, anytime someone makes repeated stupid decisions around me I force separation untill there is no longer any contact.
Jealousy, hate, fear and the dreadfull combination are evident in these simpletons minds. The repeated extremes have started to take a tole on me psychologically.
I’m extremely motivated in my financial pursuits and dont want to allow anything to stop me much like all Iranians. I am having problems deciding if its justified to cut people from my life for not living up to my standards of integrity. The key to success in many things in life is balance. When is the risk of balance worth the reward?
Being this minority, being alone, and being a kind person leaves me vulnerable to attacks. It seems like people know that the cops aren’t going to try very hard to catch criminals that commit crimes against people of long middle eastern names and noses. That may not be true but the only justice I get is justice I take.
Counsel appreciated.
Mercy!
