The Resurrection

Scene 1.

Resurrector: So you’ve gift wrapped the body in white linen for me. Did you remember to bring the money?

Man: In the bags next to the stretcher. But please kind resurrector, I’m a few million Tomans short and she’s at you mercy.

Resurrector: Mercy? This is not a charity. That diamond chandelier above our heads is there to tell you just that. Payment in full. Borrow if you have to.

Man: I have, resurrector. My friends are tapped out on what they can lend. My bank accounts are all emptied, and I have no more lands to sell. I wanted to keep one house and the store. It was for her, not me. Just something to feed her with after you return her to life? But your price leaves me with nothing. Not that I’m haggling; I just beg you to accept my promise for the balance.

Resurrector: Twenty five percent interest even if I find you credit worthy.

Man: Have a heart. How can a woman in the image of an angel be so pitiless?

Resurrector: Don’t get fresh with me young man. It won’t save you money. The only way you’re going to avoid ruin is if you fail my questions and our deal goes bust.

Man: Ask me anything. You will see I’m a good prospect. I just need time.

Resurrector: All right. But don’t think, just answer. Why do you love her?

Man: That’s a credit question?

Resurrector: No thinking. Your answer now!

Man: Uh…she is beautiful. I could say more if you weren’t making me so nervous.

Resurrector More beautiful than I?

Man: It’s not fair to compare. You’re almost an angel. She’s just a normal woman.

Resurrector: So my power disqualifies me as a woman in your eyes.

Man: Please don’t toy with me, resurrector. You know what I mean.

Resurrector: Do you think I’m a mind reader?

Man: Sorry, I didn’t mean to be impertinent, but if you could read my mind you would know that you are frighteningly beautiful, and this dead woman is…

Resurrector: Harmlessly beautiful?

Man: Innocently beautiful.

Resurrector: Was she a virgin?

Man: Of course she was. Do you think I would touch her before marriage? What sort of credit question is that?

Resurrector: Don’t tell me my business. If she wasn’t a virgin she’ll wake up blind.

Man: I assure you that will not be an issue.

Resurrector: Are you certain?

Man: She will not be blind.

Resurrector: That’s not what I asked.

Man: Um… I once tried to kiss her hand. Does that count?

Resurrector: No, you dunce. What if she has slept with another man?

Man: Just what are you saying? I come to you for help, give you all I have and you send me away with a smear? Am I to go back to her hopeful parents with an insult to their honor as well as a still-dead daughter?

Resurrector: Look, I couldn’t care less if she whored for a living. Will I get all I’m owed if things don’t turn out the way you hope?

Man: Hope? I don’t hope. I know.

Resurrector: All you have to do is say I’ll get paid no matter what.

Man: You will be paid in full, but I will not phrase it in your way.

Resurrector: Why not?

Man: Because I have faith in her.

Resurrector: How touching. Get out. Take the corpse and your money.

Man: Please, my promises are good. Ask anyone. Just don’t make me insult her. You don’t know anything about her.

Resurrector: How did she die?

Man: A tragic accident. The oven gas was left on.

Resurrector: And I suppose the pilot wasn’t working.

Man: Old oven.

Resurrector: Suicide.

Man: Accident.

Resurrector: Suicide. How did she agree to the marriage?

Man: Her parents knew she would grow to love me back.

Resurrector: This is absurd. I’m not going through with this unless you walk up to her and promise to her dead face that you will still want to marry her even if she is blind.

Man: It would be a slanderous promise. I tell you there is no risk.

Resurrector: Take this non-risk upon yourself. Try to pass it on to me, and she’s stays dead.

Man: Forgive me, love, I apologize, but this witch leaves me no choice. Yes, I would want to marry you no matter what. If you wake up blind I would give you my own eyesight.

Resurrector: Nice touch about giving her your eyes. See, that didn’t hurt too much did it?

Man: Yes it did. You tortured me.

Resurrector: Shut up, you deserved it. Now go to the waiting room and close the door behind you. Don’t come out until I call, or she’ll sink back into death forever.

Man: Can I at least listen?

Resurrector: I don’t care if you do somersaults in there, just go.

Man: How long will this take?

Resurrector: Till the day of resurrection. Now out!

Scene 2.

Resurrector: You heard everything?

Woman: Yes, but I couldn’t move. Why did you bring me back? This is so unfair.

Resurrector: It’s my living.

Woman: And it means nothing to you that I still want to die? The moment I walk out, I’ll go drown myself in the sea and there will be no corpse left for you to resurrect this time.

Resurrector: That would be bad for business. People will say I resurrect fish food.

Woman: I don’t give a damn about your reputation. I’m throwing myself into the sea.

Resurrector: How are you going to get there? Grope your way with a cane?

Woman: Why the hell did you let him talk you into this? You knew better.

Resurrector: He paid enough to be entitled to the truth.

Woman: You cold blooded harpy, what gives you the right to take back my death for money. It was my suicide, my secret to take to the grave.

Resurrector: What color is this sea?

Woman: What?

Resurrector: The sea you imagine drowning in. Blue or gray?

Woman: What does that have to do with anything?

Resurrector: Just answer.

Woman: Gray. Why?

Resurrector: Wouldn’t you rather drown in a blue sea?

Woman: It makes no difference.

Resurrector: So it may as well be blue.

Woman: All right, it’s blue.

Resurrector: Which means the sun is shining. On cloudy days the sea is gray.

Woman: I don’t care what it means. If I can’t be with the man I love, I don’t want to live.

Resurrector: The man who brought you here loves you. That’s worth something.

Woman: I don’t feel it.

Resurrector: I feel it. He’s telling the truth. He’s not bad looking, is he? Stupid but charming. Stubborn but kind. Old fashioned, but you heard him promise to accept you as you are.

Woman: Save it! I want to die. Sunny, cloudy, blue, gray, pink, charming, accepting, I’m sick of being miserable.

Resurrector: Oh hopeless! Your soul refuses to return.

Woman: You resurrected me without a soul?

Resurrector: Young woman, your soul had abandoned you long before your death. That’s what suicide is.

Woman: You are a liar. I am still heartbroken.

Resurrector: And one of your molars still has a cavity.

Woman: You can love without a tooth, but you can’t love without a soul.

Resurrector: Suppose you let me be the expert on souls here. Why couldn’t you be with this man you can’t live without?

Woman: He doesn’t have the money to ask for me. My parents would never agree.

Resurrector: He never tried?

Woman: Why should he debase himself? The answer would have been a flat ‘no’.

Resurrector: I see. Did he ask you to run away with him?

Woman: What sort of life would that have been? No money, no family.

Resurrector: You would have each other.

Woman: Each other in poverty and misery.

Resurrector: You slept with him the night before you killed yourself.

Woman: Yes, how did you know?

Resurrector: My dead parakeet speaks to me. Your secret lover knew you were betrothed?

Woman: Yes, but he had no idea I would never go through with the marriage. I wanted to belong to him forever. This was the only way.

Resurrector: What if I gave you the money to go be with him?

Woman: Are you crazy, or are you being deliberately cruel? I have two mothballs where my eyes used to be. What am I to him now?

Resurrector: You are too quick to despair. There is a man waiting behind that door who has foolishly empowered me to give you his eyesight. I can arrange it free of charge. Do I have your gracious permission?

Woman: That sleazy, manipulative bastard! He had no right to do this. I did not give him the right. I was dead, OK? Yes, I want his eyes. Serves him right. This wouldn’t have happened to him if he had just let me be. Fair is fair.

Resurrector: Very well then, tell me what is the color of my gown?

Woman: What?

Resurrector: My gown.

Woman: White.

Resurrector: And the wall?

Woman: Blue! Oh my God, the cushions are silver, the curtains are gold. I am starting to see.

Resurrector: Now be off. And take these money bags.

Woman: I don’t know what to say. You have brought me back to a life worth living. This is the happiest I have ever felt. How can I ever thank you?

Resurrector: A few kind words perhaps for the man who just gave you his eyesight. His vision will not return until the day you die and won’t need eyes anymore. Would you like me to ask him in?

Woman: No! Are you kidding?

Resurrector: Perhaps just to accept his apology.

Woman: He can stuff it, the creep. Apology not accepted. This was all his fault.

Resurrector: All the same to me. On the way out, there’s a big closet full of clothes. Don’t leave in that shroud. Bad for my image. Pick out something dazzling, something happy, giddy even.

Woman: Perfect! That’s just how I feel right now. Wait though, what about my soul?

Resurrector: You don’t need a soul when you’re this happy.

Woman: But everyone says you need a soul.

Resurrector: They fuss over nothing. The soul is just a tiny flame tucked away in the dark.

Woman: That’s all?

Resurrector: No bigger than an oven pilot. Take it from the expert. You have nothing to worry about.

Woman: Thank you, and thank you again. Goodbye.

Resurrector: Don’t forget your makeup and hairdo. Just ask the assistants as you go out. Tell the whole world how happy you are.

Scene 3

Resurrector: You can come out now.

Man: The world is starting to go dim.

Resurrector: You are just paying the price that love demanded. And you thought I was too expensive. Sit down before you bump into something.

Man: How did you know I really meant what I said about giving her my own eyes?

Resurrector: Woman’s intuition. Besides, it wouldn’t have worked unless you had spoken from the heart. Tell me, do you still have feelings for her after all this?

Man: Yes, but I wouldn’t blame you if you called me stupid for it. What will I do? I have no eyes, no home, no money. Not even humility to beg in the streets.

Resurrector: If you’re considering suicide, do it far from my resurrection palace. In the sea perhaps. The blue sea on a sunny day. I could give you a ride there if you’d like.

Man: Thanks, but courage is another thing I don’t have.

Resurrector: Take your time. I have a villa by the sea. Any sea you’d like, actually. You are my guest until you build up your courage.

Man: And if it never comes?

Ressurector: I’m a patient hostess. But this darkness will pass. She has no soul, and one day soon, some wind of despair will blow out her happy flames. Without that pilot light to ignite her back to hope she will kill herself again.

Man. That was cruel how you misled her.

Resurrector: She said that’s the happiest she’s ever felt. You can’t say she didn’t get your money’s worth. As for you, she was not resurrection material; what you paid for was a chance to apologize to her.

Man: I wish she had told me her heart belonged to someone already. I would have known what I was up against.

Resurrector: You could have let her go when she said “no” the first time.

Man: It is against my nature. Do you know I was born as poor as that man she’s so in love with. If I had backed down every time someone said ‘no’ to me, I would have stayed where I was. She should have told me about him. Then he’d have a fair fight on his hands. If he didn’t really love her back, he’d lose.

Resurrector: And I would have placed my bets on you. He didn’t stand with her against her parents. Wouldn’t risk for her. Took his pleasure from her without concern for her future marriage. I give those lovers a month at the most. But I suppose we’ll know when you get your eyesight back.

Man: I have faith in her; she will make it work.

Resurrector: You just keep on having faith, stubborn man. Meanwhile let’s go listen to the sea, and if you want to know what something looks like, just ask me. My eyes are your eyes.

Meet Iranian Singles

Iranian Singles

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Meet your Persian Love Today!
Meet your Persian Love Today!