The role of the women in Iran.
There is a Persian culture in Iran that respects the woman very much. Two women in the ancient time in Iran were queen of the whole Persian Empire. Generally in Iran the men listen to the woman and work for her and the real commander in chief is she. That is true in the Middle East there are different people and different cultures, my writing is not about the whole people or the whole culture of the Middle East, but about tiny circle that I know. In Middle East many women and girls also suffering by their fathers, brothers, husbands and even sons, but some also are protected by them and enjoy a lot of support and love from them. I wish one day all women and men in the Middle East be happy and free with good education and good job and possibilites. So they can produce and be positive in their life.
They say, man and woman are like the wings of a bird and a bird cannot fly with one wing only the bird need both wings also man need the wife and woman needs the husband. If you have not enough money to spend for your female and male children, and you cannot send your son and daughter to the school, send in the first place the girl in the school, because she will be mother later and will educate her children or other children and a woman is a good teacher and the first teacher. The Islamic prophet said the paradise is under the feet of mothers. So you can see that women as mother, sister, daughter and wife are very well respected. Most girls are going to get a university degree and so later they can have a nice job. The government supports the girls more than boys. If a father dies, the son get his salary until he is 18 years old, or if he studies, he will get the salary until he is 25 years old. But the daughter gets the salary until she is not married. That means always a man had to support a woman, but the girls or women are supported by government. The girls and woman generally do not work hard and they do not work any type of works. They want to be teachers, doctors, engineers, secretaries, office work and other white collar jobs; you cannot see the women as truck drivers, bus drivers, and construction workers and so on. They mostly work at home if they do not have good high class; good paying jobs. The girls stay virgin until they marry. The man should have all materials for a nice life for them. He should have good paying job, car, and house. And in Iran you should pay all these materials with cash money. You cannot buy a car by credit or by monthly payment. Or for the house you should have all your pennies cash. You see until a man has all these materials, he is 35 years old. Now he can marry a girl who is between 19 and 25. He should support the girl, his future wife totally. He must even guarantee her future life, by promising to pay her 300 to 2000 or more gold coins and must give her legal documents that in the time if the divorce must take place, he should pay all these gold coins, and May men went to jail as they could not pay these gold coins to her. As gold coin has no inflation and its price is always the same so the girl’s family chose gold coin instead of paper money. Generally the girls have no interest to be a girl friend of a man and they do not want to have a sexual relationship, because they want to be virgin for the future husband. They found it stupid to be a girl friend of a man. You see their value is different than here. For them to be a girl friend is very cheap and very bad and they feel themselves like a bad girl or prostitute. So one of the mistakes that the people do is to use the value of one culture for another culture. A woman as a teacher or doctor or other high class jobs is very well respected. My mother was a teacher and she was a young teacher, may be she was 4 years older than her students in the time that she started to work as a teacher. One day I was walking on the street with her. Two Iranian generals, who were standing on the same street, said to each other, “Mrs. Dorudkar is coming”. After that they saluted my mother with full military respect and manner as if a queen was crossing the street. I remember that my mother needs to write a note and the people get jobs. So respectful was a woman as a teacher. Fathers, brothers, uncles, husbands and even grand fathers are very concerned about the women and girls in their family. I know many girls do not marry, because they had a high class salary from their father who was dead for 40 years, and the daughters still got the salaries. The girls and women are protected by the male members of the family. But if the girl or a woman is bad, it is bad for the whole family. So it is very sad if a girl is a bad girl. Because too much love is not good, too. Sometimes the husband, father, brother or even uncle and grand father, punish the girl if she is bad. But this punishment is because of love, as they are not indifferent when they see their sister, daughter, wife are in a bad situation that the society does not accept. They are very well protected and most of them want to have this great present as a gift and they want these protection. Always men should pay the whole costs of a woman. If you invite a girl over there you must pay all her costs. Some girls misuse this and they always wanted to be invited by men, or close friend; these male are not boy friends as here. They are just friends or are the member of the family a male person of the family. In Germany, the girls and women are like here, but they do not afraid so much from the male like here. The girls take the men from the streets in their cars without any fear. I mean they take a man from the street that they do not know him. The men that they do not know before and they did not see him before. In Germany the girls and women are very open to male. You can have any type of good female friends as a man without any problems. The girls in the feast dance with the boys or men that they do not know. I remember as I was student in Germany, there was a feast, the American girls dance only with the American boys or men they were in their group, but the German girls dance with any body who asked them to dance politely. In America, the woman is more conservative and religious. In Africa, the girls are very free and the man can have them very easily. They just go to them and take them with themselves without any rejection by the girls or young women.
I visited a wedding party of an Afghan family. Afghanistan Tajikistan and some other countries which ends in stan are old Persian provinces and stan or istan means province. Like Khorasan, Baluchestan, Sistan, Lorestan and so on. The languages of Iran , Afghanistan , and Tajikistan are Persian. But many other people and nations are living in these countries. For example in Iran 45% of population have other languages than Persian. But the people are relatives and the languages are relative, too. The Urdu language and Hindi language are similar to Persian. My Indian students told me that if you listen carefully to the Indian movies, you can understand it. The wedding party was very nice party. The couple who were married was less than one year in the USA . They were very traditional who are living in the Middle East and the area around Middle East . Islam is the dominant religion. The Moslems are three groups, Liberal Moslem, Modern Moslem and Radical Moslem. As long as I investigated, all three groups are similar in believe, but in action the radical one had interpreted Islam more in a restricted form and do not tolerate other thinking as a correct one. For example, some of western traditions have been accepted in some Islamic societies. The women are dressed like western people, but they do not think like a woman in the west. Generally you can imagine, the modern Moslems are like the people 80 years back in the USA . The girl should not have any boy friend and should not have any sexual contact with the man before the official marriage. That means the girl has only a chance to see one husband in her life. Generally divorce is very hard, and the couple has less chance to marry again. May be for this reason, the couple stay together and forgive each other and try to keep their family together. The girl gets some gold coin for her wedding ceremony or some times she will get these gold coins after divorce and also she gets some rings, clothes and other gifts from the man. The gold coin is a security for the girl especially after her divorce. It depends on the wealth of the man. It is starts from 30 to 2000 gold coins. Each gold coin costs about 50 to 100 US dollars. In Moslem who is very modern, they ask the minimum gold coins which are about 30. 100 3000 US Dollars. This money cannot support the girl after divorce. It is more symbols. They do not drink any alcohol and they did not smoke, too. They dance together and have candies, fruit, soda, and a light dinner. The girl should be virgin, if she is not virgin she will counted as a bad girl. The girls who are not virgin have no chance to marry in this traditional society. They will counted as stupid and prostitute. You can see that you cannot take this value for the western culture. Generally, the couple stays together and the rate of the divorce is very low. Every body wished the couple a good life and they gave gifts to them. Most guests give them a gold coin. The bride collected a lot of gold coins in her wedding party. The husband is responsible for the costs of the family. I do not know how they will manage this in the USA . We should build a better world and make the life easier for each other.
We should try to have the unity of mankind and not hate and war. Here is some sample. I hope that we can cooperate with each other.
As you see; I have been persecuted in my country, because my mother was a Bahai. I believe the unity of mankind and tried to help the people. I was university teacher and consultant to the government. I came in American and was teacher in college, but because I was from Iran; I had problem so I opened a boarding and language school, but the government of USA does not help me and my costs of the school, taxes and insurance is more than what I make. So soon I will be collapsed here, too. The school is beautiful and nice, but the income is small. I do not have enough students.
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