How Iran became free

These are the events that unfolded starting on that fateful election day in 2009 which lead to the greatest triumph of humanity over tyranny.

In the weeks leading up to the 2009 Islamic Republic elections, a small group of Iranian activists and patriots, all of whom were foreign residents came up with an genius plan to overthrow the Islamic tyranny and rescue a hostage nation.

Despite tremendous danger to themselves, these proud “jan bazan” first made public contact with each other on This was tricky, as they all knew powerful forces were against them. The well known website was a favorite of regime supporters and hezbollahis, so they knew their activites would get detected. But as result of the comments and posts they became aware of each other and decided to meet in person. A first gathering was proposed in Paris, France. These men had nothing short of a revolution in mind. They had studied recent people powered revolutions around the world and decided to theme theirs accordingly.

Birth of the Caviar Revolution

The theme of Caviar was chosen for several reasons. The group represented certain things that the IRI hated, among them intellectualism and pre-Islamic glory. Iran has always had the best Caviar in the world, but there is only a small and precious supply of it. The intellectuals who were brave and smart enough to escape the clutches of the IRI tyranny, and spend their time living free in Europe and America in the last 30 years were likewise valuable gems of the Iranian cultural heritage. These proud nationalists had enough foresight to see their own value to the future of Iran, and therefore each took steps to ensure the well being of at least one living national treasure. They bravely escaped war and misery and made it to freedom, just so one day they would fulfill their destiny and go back to save the rest of the people who were not as enlightened. Unreachable by the tyranny of regime, they had enough time and freedom to understand the true problems of Iranians back home and knew what Iran truly needed. Now was the time to put this knowledge to use. Finally, the tremendous personal expenses involved made the choice of the theme even more fitting. Thus the revolutionary Caviar society was born on May 29, 2009.

The plot to destroy the IRI

Being the top strategists and philosophers that Iran-zamin had to offer (and the world really, considering the Aryan genetics), perhaps it was not a surprise that this group came up with a foolproof plan in only 48 hours. It consisted of posting messages on urging Iranians not to participate in the upcoming elections. One political philosopher explained: “If Iranians were to stay home, the regime would lose legitimacy.” From there, it was just a matter of short time until the tyranny imploded and the people’s will was established. Thus, the Caviar group got busy. Many members gave up vacations and weekends, in order to both spread the message and also to neutralize regime agents who were still trying to fool people into voting. They had logic, evidence and personal persuation on their side. They had a foolproof plan and alternative that gave people hope. They simply out maneuvered the rest easily, showing what Persians can do when freed from Tazi influence. The Mullah supporters, leftists and British agents with limited intelligence and communication skills, did not mount much of a challenge.

The election

On election day, June 12, 2009, moments after the polls closed, Ahmadinejad was declared the outright winner in the first round of the elections with 70% support. The regime however, was refusing to give any indication of the raw numbers of votes even by the end of next day.

Late on Saturday local time, a nervous IRI official was seen entering the Ahmadinejad election headquarters where a party was being held. He approached the President and said something into his ear. Mahmoud immediately turned white, got up and stormed out of the building with a dozen advisors following him frantically.

The supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei was watching HBO and eating a bowl of frozen youghurt when the loud banging on the door to his private residence was heard. The servents opened the door. Ahmadinejad and four of his advisors entered the TV room. Khamenei did not blink and continued watching. “I love vampire shows,” he said with a smile still fixated at the TV screen.

“It’s 47%” said Ahmadinejad softly.

Khamenei’s spoon dropped into the bowl of frozen youghurt, which itself tipped over from Khamenei’s grip-less hands fell upside down on the expensive Persian rug in front of the IKEA “Ektorp” fabric sofa. His mouth remained open. He gently rotated his neck toward the direction of the visitors, but did not change the affixed position of his eyeballs. Two minutes passed.

“That’s…. That’s not even 50%!” He finally managed. Ahmadinejad was looking down on the floor. The advisors were gone by now, as was the Khamenei’s servents. Later an Iranian investigative journalist determined that the top Ahmadinejad advisor was already on the plane to Dubai at that very moment.

Khamenei clutched his robe. “Has it been double checked?” He asked with a new desperation in his voice. “Yes. This is even after the… adjustments that we usually perform using Islamic math.”

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad walked in further and in uncharacteristically rude gesture sat right beside the supreme leader on the sofa. He gently wrestled away the remote control and flipped the channel to the IRIB broadcast.

The looting had already started.

Back in Paris the secret committee of the Caviar revolution was preparing for the next phase already. That night, much French champaign was consumed in the rejoicing. But the group knew the work was not finished. No one in the world knew the extent of the change that was about to come. A final toast was declared: “Here’s to the next phase of freedom”.

To be continued…

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