IRI, The biggest Islamic Shiite Franchise and the leader in internal oppression and external terror export. Due to recent events in Iran, we are looking to expand our existing various forces.
Education:
No formal education is necessary, but knowledge of Medinah Surahs, hadithes, fatwas and some towzih ol Massael by Imam Khomeni and other grand Ayataullahs is recommended. Spoken Arabic is desired as there will be a need to work with Palestinian, Syrian and Lebanese brothers.
Qualifications:
There is no formal qualification required as extensive on the job training will be provided but any previous experience with theft, rape, assault, torture, abusive childhood, would be considered an asset.
Duties:
To protect the divinely ordained institution of the velayat–e-Faghih, by any means as there won’t be any civil or divine retributions or persecutions. You will have total access to people’s lives and properties as decreed by Imam Khamenei and the leadership triangle.
Apart from getting satisfaction, both in monetary and psychological, you will have unlimited access to people’s property and lives. you will travel the poor countries to export Shiite Islam, support Hezbollah in Lebanon and Palestine, Suicide bombers in Iraq, IEDs in Afghanistan and reporting on opposition in Europe and North America. As a bonus, your actions will be rewarded in the paradise in the next world too and you will have the best of the two worlds.
How to Apply:
Please see your local Akhund at the local mosque or contact Basij headquarters. Iranian overseas can apply at any Islamic Republic Embassy.
IRI is an equal Shiite opportunity employer, all Shiites are encouraged to apply.
