One hot summer day, to be precise, one Friday the thirteenth of August, at about a quarter to three in the afternoon, I experienced the ultimate love , love of a sick mother.
My mother used to spend 6 months of the year with me , here in exile.Since her only daughter could not travel to Iran. Last time that I was pushing her wheelchair to the Gate of her flight she told me, don’t cry Tahirih, I will come back even if I have to crawl to your city.
She left and within couple of months had a stroke that left her with speech problem and memory loss.Last week on that hot summer day , to be precise Augest 13th at 3 in afternoon , she told me in her new style of talking , that she has decided not to come back to live with me. My heart sank, I was speechless, not able to find anything to say. She filled the silence with her stutter, and said I am happy in my home and country, I want to stay.
I had endless nights of crying and despair , why? why she does not want to see me, or die in my house? have I been a bad daughter? Nothing made sense.
But couple of days ago as I was sitting on her bed, in her empty room in my house which is filled with her memory and presence, the answer came to me. She had denied herself dying at her only daughter’s house , the daughter that God gave her after four sons, the daughter that she longed to have ,so her daughter is relieved from stress of care giving when she is alone without the help of her siblings.
She has always loved me differently and now she has shown it once more by sacrificing herself again.
I will love her every waking moment of my life and to the end of time. I know that we will be united in another place , where there will be no more borders, prejudices, or pain.
Tahirih
