Photo caption: Tehran, political debate.
(((three parentheses means that person is thinking to self)))
Hajiagha and Roya are getting ready to go to a party
R: What are you going to wear tonight?
H: The usual. Shirts, pants
R: Are you going to take a shower and get ready?
H: Yes let me finish watching Weekend in Vancouver and then I’ll go
R: I don’t know why you watch that show. I don’t see any weekend or Vancouver in you
H: I watch it for Canada bashing ideas
R: Hurry up anyway. Tezol!
H: Okay okay.
Haji takes his shower and comes out
R: What the hell? What’s all this steam? How can I use it now?
H: What’s wrong with my shower taking?
R: Nothing baba, nothing!
Haji is dressed and has been waiting in the living room for the past hour
H: WHAT TIME ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE?
H: IT’S LIKE 6:45 AND ABOUT 45 MINUTES TO GET THERE
R: WHY 45 MINUTES?
H: THEY LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
(((I’m dying over here)))
(((which earrings look better?)))
H: Finally. Is this it?
R: When they say 7, you leave start at 7:30, give or take an hour. Who comes at 7?
H: Is this college math?
R: Yes I have grade 12 education. You?
It’s 8:40 and they arrive at the party
Mooch muah mooch muah
– Mooch muah mooch muah– Bah bah hi Hajiagha
H: Hi hello, hello, hello, hov-r-u, hov-r-u
– Come here Haji. Roya khanoom we’re stealing your Haji
– Haji it’s self-service. What do you want? beer, Vodka, Whiskey, wine
H: I’ll have a beer
– What does Roya want?
H: She doesn’t drink
R: HAJI GET ME A WINE
– hehehe Haji looks like Mrs wants a wine. Here, take it to her
R: Thanks Haji. So Mahtab joon what’s going on?
– you look so pretty tonight
– Roya joon …
– joonam …
About an hour later
R: Yes I’m thinking of going to college
– Sounds good. What are you going to study?
Yelling is heard from afar
R: I want to … what’s all that yelling?
– Roya joon they’re talking politics, leave them alone!
– ISLAMO FACISIM!
– IRAN IS THE BEST!
– ARABIZATION OF IRAN!
– DIRT ON OUR HEADS!
– HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS!
– GAY RIGHTS!
– DEATH TO DICTATOR!
– SUCKS TO CANADA!
– ARAB LOVER!
– CHILDREN YOUNG AS 10 SELLING HASHISH!
– QUIET BABA!
– PISS ON ISLAM!
– SUCKS TO CANADA!
– WOMEN’S RIGHTS!
– SEX TOYS!
– SLAVERY IN CANADA!
– MR. PRESIDENT !
R: Sounds like serious
– Leave them alone. Let them break each other’s head
– Don’t they get tired?
R: Yeah leave them alone. So what where we saying?
– CHILDREN YOUNG AS 8!
– YOU USE CANADA’S FREEDOM AND NAG
– HAH! BRITISH COLONY
– ROYA KHANOOM COME AND GET HIM!
R: Are they calling me?
– Leave them alone
– Roya khanoom would you please come with me please, we’re having problems
R: Okay so what’s going on?
Roya and host walk over to men’s discussion
– Roya khanoom Haji is causing problems
R: What’s going on?
H: CHILDREN YOUNG AS 12 SELLING HASHISH …
– QUIET! HIISST!
– See Roya khanoom, he keeps yelling children as young as 10 are selling hashish and neighbors think we’re selling drugs here
H: Children young as 12, not 10, sometimes 8, you’re smoking it
– It’s not hashish
– Roya khanoom for god sake can you take him inside?
R: Come here Haji. Come with me
H: Okay let’s go I don’t like staying
R: Haji can’t you zip it for one night?
H: I told you I don’t like them cause they smoke hashish
R: Hashish chiyeh? It’s alaf
R: Okay we’re back. I brought this one with me!
– hehehe Hajiagha was Amir there?
H: Who is Amir?
H: I don’t know any Max
R: So …
They eat their dinner and are on their way back in the car
R: You almost ruined tonight
H: I don’t like them potheads
R: So don’t smoke, come stay with me
H: But I don’t want to be with women’s group
R: Women and men nadare
H: Yes dare
R: Well you can’t stay with men either
H: At least they won’t call me a feminist if I become the only men in women’s group
R: Feminist? Haji you just know how to push the wrong buttons
H: If we were in Iran we wouldn’t have these problems
R: I don’t like them smoking either but maybe you can smoke one just so you can forget about CANADA oh CANADA!
H: Alaf doesn’t do it for me, I need something stronger
R: I bet!