All the rivers run into the sea;
Yet the sea is not full
The eye is not satisfied with seeing;
Nor the ear filled with hearing
— The Book of Apocalypse
To “bereave” is to live in a sad or lonely state – a state typically brought on by a loss or death. When a loving tie is severed, an emotional reaction which we call “grief” is set in motion. Grief and bereavement are what we are experiencing now. This commemoration is also intended to honor the memory of a woman who leaves behind a legacy of strength. That legacy should serve as an example for many.
The purpose of a eulogy is two-fold. First, we praise the deceased for her worthy qualities. Second, we express the grief and sense of loss experienced by the mourners. Everyone has a different philosophy in dealing with trauma of losing a loved one. The significance of redemption, for the mourners is inherent in the philosophical approach of making a connection between parts and the whole. In the absence of the loved one, it helps not to allow the loss of the whole – the body – to overwhelm us. Instead, we should remember events eliciting the parts – the various virtues of the departed. This way we embellish the memory, the soul and the goodness of the deceased. These memories will embrace us in warmth. These selected memories, retained through time, comprise the elements that would keep us strong remembering the grand beauty of the loved one who is no longer physically among us.
The good deeds of the deceased will pass on a positive legacy and good name to the family. At the same time, the manner in which each of us has treated the deceased also has an effect that lingers on. Those who have guilt feelings about the way they treated her will find it difficult to resolve them now that she is gone. Most of us will cherish the legacy she left behind about being firm, strong, good wife, good mother and a good friend.
I cherished Farideh’s friendship for 37 years. She indeed fulfilled the meaning of her name to be a “Unique” woman. She was unique in loving people and she was “Unique” when she expressed her feelings in every conceivable emotion. You knew when she was angry and she also demonstrated her love for you. Most people like me were attracted to her sophistication, elegance and kindness. An anecdote which I will always remember will make me laugh and will fill my heart warmly for the way Farideh expressed her special love. After one of my surgeries I had a lot of pain in my arm which I spent the night at Farideh’s house after one of her famous joyful parties. That evening, I talked about the pain in my arm more often. Every time she asked how I am doing, I talked about the pain in my arm. Farideh jokingly said we have to name your arm because you talk more about your arm than yourself. She named my arm “banafsheh” (the flower, pansy); she explained, this way every time I ask how is “banafsheh?” you will imagine a field of colorful pansies and you will forget about your pain.”
My dear Farideh, when I look back in the life long friendship with you, I remember all the many eccentric happy moments that we laughed, danced, and celebrated many festive parties you elegantly arranged. I will miss you always, knowing your memory will fill my heart warmly.
The 26th day of December – Two Thousand Nine
To Pickett and Hamidi Family:
Everly Funeral Home
10565 Main Street
Fairfax, VA 22030-7116