My grand daughter called me on Saturday morning, sobbing inconsolably, telling me her female hamster, Rhino, had gone missing and couldn’t find her. I promised her I’d be there as soon as I could and not to worry, because one way or another we were going to find her. When I got to my stepson’s house, who has also been divorced, my ex-wife, the grand mother of the kids, was trying to put Rhino’s cage back together. Apparently the cage had opened up and Rhino had escaped. My grand daughter said the night before, she thought, she had ran into the cage, in the dark, and that must have been the time when the cage fell apart and Rhino got away.
After putting the cage back together the correct way, we briefly looked for Rhino to no avail. My grandson’s house is a mess, a dumpster to be exact. I guess in that regard he has exceeded all my expectations. Hamsters like to crawl under things, soft fluffy things, and they always hide in holes and openings, so I suggested to my grand daughter that the best thing to do was to clean the entire house, while looking of her, or to leave some food and water in the middle of a couple of rooms till she shows up, but since she wanted to play outside, she opted for the latter. Meanwhile the only place we provided food and water for Rhino was in the kids bedroom, with the food and water inside the cage and the door of the cage wide open towards the floor so it would act as a ramp for Rhino to get in her cage, if she ever showed up and wanted to do so.
By Sunday noon there was no news of Rhino. My grand daughter said she’ll show up or she’ll die somewhere, she’ll stink up the place, and we’ll find her that way. She is a very realistic little girl. Sunday was a beautiful sunny winter day. I set up a camping tent in the front yard for the kids to play in. Soon the neighbor’s four kids and their cousins showed up, and they were all swinging on the gymnastic hand-rings and a tire swing hanging from the tree in the front yard, like little monkeys. I always wonder why they don’t break their hands more often. I washed my car and vacuumed it, and then had nothing else to do accept to watch the kids, which is not much fun, so I decided to clean my stepson’s car. His car also looks like a dumpster. Kids practically have to climb over trash to get in. I must have spent a couple of hours on his car, first washed it, then throw away the trash inside his car, then vacuumed it, and finally began to clean the seats and carpet, first the passenger side, front and back, and then I moved to the back seat behind the driver side, and as I was cleaning the carpet under the driver’s seat, there comes Rhino! The poor animal was have been trapped in that car since Friday afternoon when my stepson picked up the kids from their school. I thought she looked skinny, but that might have been the state of my mind, thinking three days without food and water, but then again that car had every edible things in it, including left over burgers, chips, French fries, soda; enough for a grown up man to survive for a week, at least. When I picked her up, for the first time ever, she did not bite me.
Everyone was excited that Rhino was found safe and sound. They say hard work is its own reward. Planet Earth Turns Slowly was playing on the radio, I washed the dog shit off of my grandson’s shoes and he was not mad anymore, cars were clean, kids were happy playing outside, and my ex-wife succeeded in conning me to give her twenty dollars, till she gets her regular monthly spousal support check tomorrow, so she could put some gas in her car to go to her imaginary job (only God knows where; and yes, I know, I’m a sucker) .
Life could not have been any better at those moments; except if I could find my friend’s missing cat. He’s also been missing for three days now.
