Many years ago in a very distant land, I tried so very hard to be perfect for everyone when I was growing up. Let me tell you that it is an impossible goal. You can’t please everyone, all the time. It only leaves you feeling lost and exhausted. So, I decided long ago that I don’t want to travel down the road of perfection. I simply want to be the best person that I can be for me. It is a much more attainable goal.
I don’t believe there is such a thing as a “Perfect Man” or “Perfect Woman”. Now, there can be a “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right” for an individual without all this talk of perfection. I still believe that everyone has an IDEAL MAN or IDEAL WOMAN in mind. Whether people realize it or not we all have in our minds a check list of what we want in our soul mate.
This check list varies from person to person. Some place more value on the outer beauty and material wealth of an individual, while others place more value on the inner beauty. Of course, some have a mixture of both. Is one more right than the other? It really depends on whom you ask. Before anyone starts attacking me, I never specified which one was better. So, live and let live. Aye!
Whenever we meet a person within a matter of seconds or minutes we quickly evaluate the individual and place them in a certain category: friend, acquaintance, romantic interest and so forth. In time as we continue to communicate with them then things may change. For others the relationships remain the same or simply end. Such is life! Like the saying goes, “People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.”
In any relationship there will be a need to compromise. However, if you are with the most compatible person to you then the logic is that it will be much easier to “agree to disagree”. Both individuals will be willing to make the necessary compromises without either one feeling used or taken advantage of.
The changes should be agreed upon by the individual and not forced on them. In order for the change to be a permanent one, it must be done by choice. I certainly do not like it when someone gives me ultimatums. So, I don’t believe in giving them either. One should never ask something that they are not willing to do themselves.
It is never ever a good idea to think that you will change an individual once you are in a relationship with them. Some of what you might want to change may actually be an important aspect of them. A part of what attracted you to them in the first place. For instance if you are attracted to the strong and silent type but then they really don’t know how to communicate with you. One is going to have to put in a little more effort in helping them get out of their shell at the beginning. Now, remember NO nagging allowed. Tell them how you feel without hen pecking them to death.
I love being so imperfect. It is what makes me so unique. I decide what I want to improve on, just to make me even happier. In the long run it makes me a much better person. So, remember you must love yourself first if you expect or want anyone else to love you too.
