4:00 pm
The Oscars are about to start in an hour. Let’s see if everything is in place.
Phone ringer off? CHECK
Popocorn on? CHECK
SweetPea out on the town bonding with daddy? CHECK
Feet propped up comfortably on ottoman? CHECK
But before I start anything about the show or the even more delicious pre-show red carpet specials, let me lay out my predictions for tonight. I’ll go ahead and skip all the minor awards and go for the ones that everyone is salivating over.
BestFilm: Even though they have expanded the category to so many films this year, It’s really only a race between Avatar (cause it’s another James Cameron blockbuster), the hurt locker (cause gritty war movies are always in, but on top of it, it’s directed by a woman, and for bonus points, it’s Cameron’s ex wife, making it into the Days of our Oscar Lives) and Up in the Air, (cause it stars the always likeable George Clooney and has garnered a lot of buzz in the award show circuit and favorable media coverage). I am gonna go with…. Up in the Air!
Best Director: I think it’s gonna be a race between the divorced couple here. And I am gonna go with James Cameron on this one.
Best Actor: It’s Jeff Bridges for sure. The role seems to have been tailor made for an Oscar win. Plus Jeff Bridges has been around for so long, that people will vote for him out of sheer likeability. George Clooney already has Oscars, it’s Jeff’s turn now!
Best supporting actor: Christoph Waltz, the German actor from Inglorious Basterds, just from the fact that he has swept up most of the awards shows this year.
Best Actress: Sandy Bullock. Cause Hollywood is like high school, and Sandy is the prom queen. And there would be too much perfect symmetry to have an actress win a Razzie for worst actress and Oscar for best actress in the same year 🙂
Best Supporting Actress: Funny enough, this is the hardest to predict. Mo’nique won the Golden Globes so she is a strong contender. But Penelope Cruz was considered the only good thing to come out of Nine. Both actresses from Up in the Air have gotten good buzz but they may have their votes split by fans of the movie. And Maggie Gyllenhall is always excellent. I am gonna go with Mo’nique with this one.
Now it is time to relish the redonculous trainwrecks known as Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana De Pandi and their awkward moments with the stars as they descend upon the Red Carpet. I will update the blog often to give you my oh so succint impressions and share our sarcastic comments together. See you guys soon!
5:15 pm
Let me say this about fashion on Oscar night. It’s our only chance nowadays to plunge into an escapist fantasy the way our parents and grandparents did in Hollywood’s golden era, with all those costumy historical epics and frothy musicals. So let’s go ahead and enjoy it, it’s all part of the show folks!
The penguins: I feel sorry for the guys, they are always stuck in their boring penguin suits. So thank you to Clooney, Keanu and Robert Downey Jr for bringing a little bith of the wacky, with, respectively, their newer, longer Silver Fox hairdo, their nuclear waste facial hair, and their blue bowtie matching with blue tinted sunglasses!
The highlights: So far, I have to say Maggie Gyllenhall in that strapless blue flower print and Sarah Jessica Parker in that gold and silver Chanel Haute Couture and the Sofia Loren 60s bun. I love Maggie Gyllenhall and think she should have not only been nominated for but won the Oscar this year for the portrayal of the hippie yuppie mom in Away We Go. That line of hers about why she does’nt use strollers (I love my baby, why would I want to PUSH her away from me?) cracks me up everytime! Meryl Streep in that gorgeous white dress with the plunging neckline that shows off her fabulous skin. And Kathryn Bigelow: Tall, thin, young and glamorous, I thought she was a Hollywood starlet until i realized she is the Oscar nominated director of the gritty war movie The Hurt Locker! James Cameron, eat your heart out!
The lowlights: Miley Cyrus and her mom in matching gold and tattoo, yiiiiiikkkkeessss! Charlize Theron, usually such a glamazon but why did she chose a dress that had two giant roses cupping her boobies, like she was wearing a delicate version of the Xena Warrior Princess war armor?
Most awkward Ryan Seacrest moment: Pushing poor Queen Latifah out of the way so he can grab “A” List stars Clooney and Meryl Streep.
Okay 15 more minutes to the actual show and I can’t wait to see what Baldwin and Martin have in store for us. If they could shine like that in a godawful movie like It’s Complicated, they are sure to liven things up on an overly long, overly self-patting award show like the Oscars! Stay tuned folks…..
6:00 pm
The show got off to a cheesetastic start with a bunch of nominees standing on stage, looking so awkward… what was that about? After that, Neil Patrick Harris stumbled onstage (maybe he thought it was the Emmys?) Things didn’t really get off to a great start until Baldwin and Martin descended upon us. I appreciated the tongue in cheek introductory photo montage of the great comedy teams like Martin and Lewis and Turner and Hooch 🙂
Well Baldwin and Martin did not disappoint. They had perfect timing and even their more risque jokes (like Meryl Streep’s Hitler memoriabilia) got well deserved laughs.
Christoph Waltz won the first BIG Oscar of the night for best supporting actor. So one of my predictions came true woo-hoo! By the way his Oscar speech was the example to follow: A nice, appropriate metaphor, including all the right names to thank without looking like you are rambling on, and just the right amount of emotion, this European showed the Americans what class is all about.
On the fashion front, noticed a lot of red gowns from Vera Farmiga, who truly looked like a red rose in bloom to Penelope Cruz who always looks fantastic. Cameron Diaz on the other hand looked like she borrowed her gown from taylor Swift’s closet.
More to come….
7:20 pm
John Hughes Tribute: Another awkward “tableau vivant” starring his most famous actors failed to pay respect to one of the directors who had the most lasting influence on our pop culture. My personal favorite of Hughes has always been “She’s having a baby” and ironically, the clip they showed of it featured a young Alec Baldwin.
Kanye Moment: Did Kanye metamorphose into an old, fat crazy white woman? I felt so bad for the guy who won the Oscar for best documentary when this seemingly crazy witch jumped onstage and kind of stole his moment. No word yet whether she was just a party crasher or really even associated with the film. Oh well, this takes us back to the good old days of Oscar impromptu scandals like the streaker and the Marlon Brando Cherokee envoy!
Comic relief; Anybody who follows my posts knows I have no lost love for Ben Stiller. So I really mean it when I say he kinda redeemed himself with his very comical AVATAR impression as he presented the best Makeup category (ironically, one in which Avatar was not even nominated)
Best Supporting Actress: It was definitely time for another big Award and as predicted Monique won for Best Supporting Actress. And despite all the emotion, she contained herself well and made a short and neat speech, and most of all irt was very dignified (Halle Berry, are you taking notes?)
Best dressed: On the fashion front, Zoe Saldana wowed with her sparkly puprle pompom dress. yes, my description makes it sound hideous and perhaps on anyone else less svelte and confident, it would have been a complete clown moment but on the gracious and gorgeous Saldana, it was a smash. I think the award for best gown of the night goes to her.
THE END
Steve Martin said it best to close the ceremony: The award show is so long that now AVATAR takes place in the past! Okay, so to conclude:
Biggest dragging on moment: Having the best actor and actress nominees introduced one by one by previous co-stars. Hey, we know who they are and what movies they did in the past. Can we please move on? Although it would have been funny to have some less illustrious co-stars introduce them, like having Sylvester Stallone introducing Sandra Bullock or Cybill Sheperd introducing Jeff Bridges!
Most teary moment: I genuinely was moved when Gabourey Sidibe started tearing up as Oprah Winfrey compared her to Meryl Streep
Biggest Injustice of the night: Sandy Bullock winning over Meryl Streep. Don’t get me wrong, I love Sandy! She is sweet and funny and down to earth and she is a good actress. But this was OSCAR night! Meryl has just spoiled us for too long by being so consistently good in all her movies for the past 30 odd years that it feels more right somehow to award the person who once starred in the sequel to Miss Congeniality just because she decided to up the ante with a feel good movie. Well, Meryl wuz robbed y’all! She should have won for Devil Wears Prada and she should have won this year for Julie Julia. Let’s be honest, just by virtue of Sophie’s Choice, she ought to win every year for everything!!!
Biggest AVATAR backlash: Holy cow, what does it take to win an Oscar around here, when being the highest grossing film in the history of film is not enough? I thought it was really cute that they got the notoriously maligned Streisand to hand the award to Kathryn Bigelow.
Final Fashion Notes: The Oscars were surprisingly in good taste this year, almost to the point of being boring. No dead swan dress. No Vegas showgirl see through gown! No bycycle shorts! What’s the world coming to? I though the ladies all looked beautiful and noone could really be said to deserve any less than accolades. Theer was a bevy of beauties in red, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sigourney Weaver, Vera Farmiga, Penelope Cruz, who each stood out on their own. Sandy Bullock looked like an Oscar statuette herself. Very very pretty! Kate Winslet I wanted to tackle to the ground so I can get my grubby hands on those beautiful yellow diamond jewels. All in all, very dazzling night, just a wee bit too perfect for my taste though.
Oh well, another one bites the dust. Let the countdown begin for next year…..
