Language Decoder Part II

Language Decoder – Part II

I wrote a while back about real estate agent double speak. You know, the kind where you read about a house with “an old world feeling” and then upon actual, physical inspection, the only “feeling” you get is that you need to replace the plumbing.

Here is my version of the Husband Language Decoder.  Maybe you will recognize some of the following expressions and their real meanings in your own relationship.  And if you have other examples, please feel free to share! Oh and if any of you gentlemen like to come up with Wife Language Decoder, I would like to read that too 🙂

What Hubby says: I’m on the freeway, I ‘ll be home in 15 minutes.

What Hubby means: I still haven’t left the office, I’ll be home when the dinner is burnt.

What Hubby says: Do you need me to pick up anything before I come home?

What Hubby means: I am trying to figure out if tonight is “vegetarian night” so I can stop by In-n-Out Burger before I get home.

What Hubby says: I’m scared to hurt the baby, wait til she’s a little bigger, I’ll feel more comfortable with her.

What Hubby means: There is no way in hell I am getting up in the middle of the night to change her.

What Hubby says: Have you seen my green with white polka dot tie?

What Hubby means: I expect you to get up from bed, put on your glasses, turn on the light and help me look for this missing item at 11:59 p.m. 

What Hubby says: There is an important legal conference I must attend in Las Vegas.

What Hubby means: There is an important PPPPPAAAARRRRTTTTAAAAAYYYY TTTTIIIMMMMEEEEE I mus attend in Las Vegas.

What Hubby says: Oh that’s great news that your mom is coming for a visit.

What Hubby means: Time for me to go to an important legal conference in Las Vegas!!!

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