Yes, you guessed right: I’m a light-beer drinker. I like the taste, the gesture and the socializing, but don’t want the entire toxin.
Well, back to Islam. Some friends, who didn’t know their Roko’s from their Sojods, suggested that Islam should be reformed. Who better than yours truly? An expert Islamotherapist, at your service.
A – Axiomatic Beliefs
1. There is no god but Allah … more or less.
2. Mohammad is the prophet of Allah … “a” not “the”.
3. There is an afterlife … perhaps.
B – Central Rituals
1. Prayers 5 times a day … if you like.
2. Fasting for a month … optional.
3. Khoms (fifth) … where tax deductable.
4. Zakat (alms) … to real charities only!
5. Hajj trip … or other worthy destinations.
C – Key Traditions
1. Don’t drink alcohol … a lot.
2. Don’t eat pork … too much.
3. Women to cover … if ugly.
4. No shaving … on weekends.
5. No music … above 80 db.
6. No pictures … of pornography.
7. Four wives … if you’re crazy.
PS: I didn’t spend any time on the Shiite non-sense, as it was mostly empowered by angry Iranians intent on crapping all over Islam and getting even with the Arabs! Sadly, once you create a lot of crap, you’ve got to live with it.
