Please everyone, buy lots of lingerie. It’s the best way to get these eternal and omnipresent Army ads off the site…forever. When advertisers realize IC is a prime venue for lingerie sales, our site will be flooded with fantastic Victoria’s Secret bad hejabi action. Seriously, the number of reads on hot chic articles and sex fantasy blogs–both male and female– show this to be our marketing demographic. Few people here are into wearing camouflaged helmets and carrying M16s. And few here want to go to Iranian villages and shoot wedding guests in the middle of their ishallah mobarak bada. And certainly few like watching soldiers march to the left and right of the screen while Ms. Shahvat Ghamishi is doing her dance thing. And no Mr. US Army, none of us here are Farsi speakers. What we speak is Farglish, an entirely different language family.
Even Soldier of Fortune Magazine isn’t so besieged by the US Army. Their ads are paid for by undocumented Mexican hunters and Civil War re-enactors. We don’t see wolf trap ads in Sierra Club Magazine, suntan lotion ads in Sky and Telescope, or as many Army ads in Soldier of Fortune because people who buy those magazines select themselves for specific products, like hiking boots, telescopes, and heat vision goggles for spotting Mexicans seeking employment after dark. So how come the biggest and most persistent ads on IC are as off target as US missile attacks on Afghan civilians?
Can’t be helped! IC needs the cash. Shahvat khanoum wouldn’t come here without the US Army contributing to her stay. So even if these particular Army ads go away for a while we may need the Pentagon budget again. Which is why we should make sure next time there’s absolutely no more adspace on the screen because all the ad earnings are rightfully coming from Victoria’s Secret.
If it were in lingerie, I wouldn’t even mind seeing a few gun belt and interrogation themes.
