In a secret meeting at Mossad’s headquarters in Tel Aviv, agents Yitzhak and Mordechai were reporting back to their superiors.
“We flew with Ari from LAX and tried to entice him to join us, but the man wouldn’t go for it; no matter how much money and adventure we offered. At this point, there is only one thing left. You know these Iranian men have a weak spot for sexy women! Is agent Magda still in training?”
Spy Chief: “No she is available. But she is a virgin at the age of 24! I hope that Ari goes for it. That’s our last hope!”
That evening Ari was sitting at the bar sipping a kosher beer and thinking about how to leave Israel. His free ticket from the Consulate was not good for another 2 months. His other option of marrying a settler woman from Moldova, moving to a large 4-bedroom house on the hills overlooking Ramallah and having 8 kids just didn’t seem right.
Just as he was engulfed in his random thoughts, a beautiful, curvy woman in her mid-20’s gently rubbed her body against his arm and sat on the stool next to him. Ari took a quick look and couldn’t believe his eyes. He just whispered to himself Bogart’s famous line, “of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine!”
She smiled at Ari. He smiled back and said hi. “My name is Magda. I recognize those Persian eyes from a mile away!”
An hour later, they walked into her room on the fourth floor of Jerusalem’s Motel 6. She stood in front of the open balcony and slowly let her dress fall on the ground.
“I am a virgin! Promise to be gentle with me.”
“Oh I will. I promise I will!” Ari whispered.
Things got hot immediately! “Ah, take me, take me, make love to me all night, I am yours!” Magda was screaming with joy. “Shhhh, the window is open. You are waking up all the Moldovans!” Ari tried to quite her down.
“Be my Persian Prince, be my King Cyrus! Save my people!” Magda’s eyes were closed.
“I’ll save you alright!” Ari whispered to himself.
“You are my Rumi, my Hafez, my Ferdowsi! Tell me of your love for me!” She was completely out of control! “Part the Red Sea for me! Save my tribe!”
“I dig a canal bigger than Suez in Caspian sea for you!” Ari tried to concentrate, but she was wild!
Half an hour later, Ari rolled over to the cool side of the bed and tried to catch his breath. “I want more! I have been waiting for this moment for a long time!” Magda said joyfully.
“Let me rest for a little while. We have all night!” Ari closed his eyes and pretended that he was asleep.
An hour later after she fell into a deep sleep, Ari quietly pulled his arm from under her body. He put his clothes on, but couldn’t find his socks. He was afraid to wake her up. He looked through the peep hole on the door to make sure nobody was out there. To his outmost surprise, he saw the Mossad agent that was on his flight pacing the hallway, back and forth. Ari quickly figured out the story. It was a trap. He needed to get out as fast as he could.
He got on the edge of the balcony and jumped to the third floor window. His knees still weak from all the action with Magda, pushed the window to the third floor hallway open and he jumped inside. He went to his room, grabbed his suitcase, ran down to the lobby, dropped the key in the night-checkout box and ran out of the hotel.
“Mr. Ari, do you need a taxi?” He heard a familiar voice calling him. It was Rasool, the Palestinian minibus driver. Ari was relived. He jumped into his cab. “I drive a taxi at nights. It helps with the expenses. I have ten mouths to feed!” “Please go as fast as you can. I need to get out of this place!” Ari told Rasool about the ticket, the house, the Moldovan bride, the 8 kids and Magda.
“I can drive you to the border with Egypt and have you cross the border with a Bedouin tribe, but it will cost you $500. Do you want me to stop at an ATM?” Ari agreed.
“Just one last thing brother Ari, make sure that those Bedouin virgins don’t sneak into your tent in the middle of the night!”
