– You are too anal.
> That’s a wild accusation … I don’t even like anal sex!
– No silly … you know what I mean! You pay too much attention to every detail … you analyze everything till it holds no mystery, no allure.
I couldn’t deny … it was my core obsession from a young age. I never had any functioning toys – not because I wasn’t showered in gifts – but due to my insatiable drive to dissect and analyze.
My last grand trinket was a majestic white camel; complete with a rocking base and a riding saddle between the humps. I enjoyed it for a full week – mounting it each evening after kindergarten … riding her all over the Arabian Desert and all across the Silk Road. That was, until I could hold back no more. I had to see how she worked – what was behind that warm and fussy façade, where was that magical strength coming from?
After cutting that beautiful camel’s belly wide open, I was shocked to find only a bunch of worthless straw. Even a thorough investigation of that charming mount’s torso showed nothing but a crumbling shell and a few fasteners. What a turn off! Especially that, after cleaning the ruins of my white camel, mom and dad stopped buying me any more toys … until I was old enough for my first school-age gadget … a microscope.
– Stop putting people under a microscope! We aren’t your tissue samples.
> Hey, I’m paid to see, discern and judge … it’s my second nature … what do you want from me?
– Step outside your comfort zone. Have faith. Show compassion. Deliver unconditional affection!
> That’s not for me, dear. You can’t talk a cynical mule into bungee jumping.
– Fine … stay cautious; keep analyzing and calculating; never give in to love.
> Well, I love you!
– No, you love sex; you love certain parts of me. We can’t strike magic; we can’t be whole.
