Want a Monarchy? You Already Have One!

Originally posted on brucebahmani.blogspot.com

Frequently, the folks that think that what Iran needs, is to go back to a Monarchy, seem to forget that technically, actually, we already have a pretty good absolute monarchy going right now, in Iran today. And most certainly it is a Constitutional one.

Iran’s long 2500 year old tradition is one of perpetual monarchy. Try as we might, or twice, or thrice if you count the barely feeble attempt in 2009, over just the past 100 years, we can’t seem to get past the dominant system of one man, one say, one rule. To the less optimistic, this might suggest we have a predestined destiny that can’t or shouldn’t be messed with. Karma, fate, luck, and all that.

I mean C’mon! Have we really tried as hard as we can to get rid of our Kings? Even our best shot at it, Mossadegh was a Ghajar Prince for god’s sake!

The current government thinks it has broken with that tradition, but it hasn’t, in reality.

King Khamenei I, is merely the latest version of an absolute monarch, replete with flowing robes and for all practical purposes, he even wears a crown. Certainly he is a religion-based king, in that he claims his power from his belief, and his insistence that you too must believe as he does or face the crimes of derision, being an “anti-revolutionary”, and my personal favorite, “corrupt upon this earth”.

As a momentary aside, on the subject of being “corrupt upon this earth”, aren’t we all just a tiny bit corrupt? I mean according to almost every book of faith, we are all here because of Adam and Eve- well actually Eve mostly. And her famous corruption by the serpent and an apple is why we are all here after all, apparently. How we get off this rock next, seems to be the real question and topic of the ongoing millennial debate. Certainly God has not weighed in on the matter.

Back to King Khamenei I. You have to give it to our King, that he has certainly learned from Pahlavi’s mistakes. Ever since Khomeini was conveniently quietened, censored, or outright snuffed out, Khamenei I has amassed even more absolute power over all he surveys, from the number of dead political enemies, far more than Pahlavi ever had.

King Khamenei I is also far smarter than Pahlavi, because he claims the Qoran and not his birthright, as his justification, guide, and the ultimate tie-breaker, God, as his counsel and raison d’être. But reading the Qoran mostly in search of the loopholes, once can easily find that King Khamenei I  doesn’t actually have the right to claim his power. So consumed with self preservation, self aggrandizement, is King Khamenei I with the high of power and the overpowering effect and perfume of temptation, that he has in fact deflowered the Qoran, by just a few of the mainstay sins that disqualifies anyone lesser than a King, found anywhere near the scene of the crimes.

As follows:

2. Murder
13. Wrongfully consuming the property of an orphan
15. Running away from the battlefield
16. A leader’s deceiving his people and being unjust to them
17. Pride and arrogance
18. Bearing false witness
21. Slandering chaste women
22. Stealing from the spoils of war
23. Stealing
24. Highway Robbery
25. Taking false oath
26. Oppression
27. Illegal gain
28. Consuming wealth acquired unlawfully
30. Frequent lying
31. Judging unjustly
32. Giving and Accepting bribes
34. Being cuckold
36. Not protecting oneself from urine
37. Showing-off
38. Learning knowledge of the religion for the sake of this world and concealing that knowledge
39. Betrayal of trust
40. Recounting favors
42. Listening (to) people’s private conversations
43. Carrying tales
44. Cursing
45. Breaking contracts
48. Making statues and pictures
50. Treating others unjustly
52. Offending one’s neighbor
53. Offending and abusing Muslims
54. Offending people and having an arrogant attitude toward them
55. Trailing one’s garment in pride
56. Men wearing silk and gold
62. Giving short weight or measure
67. Usurping the rights of the heir through bequests
68. Deceiving and plotting evil

If you are that consumed with sin, why on earth would anyone expect the slightest suggestion of justice from King Khamenei I?

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