Disclaimer: this is satire with a grain of truth.
Iran Space Program confirms attempt to send live monkey into orbit failed, Much to the dismay of the Iranian population the most recent and ingenious attempt to rid Iran of Ahmadinejad met with failure. Reports say that Ahmadinejad was safely recovered from the capsule. He was flown back to Tehran for observation and is reported to be in good condition.
Blame for the failure of the launch and miraculous survival of Ahmadinejad goes to Mossad. Unnamed Israeli source said “we did not want to lose our best ally in Iran, Whenever he opens his mouth Americans give us another billion military hardware”.
The director of “Monkey Launch” is on record saying “Don’t blame me I tried to get rid of him”. The plan was to next launch a donkey to space with the prime candidate Khamenei. However this failure has put things on hold. Observers say this may be a blessing in disguise as some feared Khamenei unchecked. The next launch is to take both a Monkey and a Donkey. If plans work out Iran may be able to get rid of them both in a single “launch”.
