Daadan vs Kardan

I ask my fellow Iranian sisters, mothers, girl friends to stop saying “daadan” which implies trading an act of sex for something else. Why not just say love making? Or having sex? Or even “kardan”? Are we just natural born prostitutes?

Although I find the term used mostly by those grown up in Iran, it is gaining momentum here in the West in the Iranian communities abroad. May be it’s due to the influence of massively growing migration of Internet-assisted-newlywed Iranian women. Whatever it’s due of, I find it extremely offensive.

It may seem trivial to some, but to me it means an act of trade. Daadan bar vazneh gereftan.

At a recent all Iranian female gathering in Los Angeles, where the air was filled with hyper sexual conversations of weird and creepy nature, from laser hair removal and lifting both legs up and wide open to going through C-Section to preserve vajayjay and thus happy husbands, I couldn’t help but notice a particular conversation between 2 young (sort of newlywed) females from Iran. Their conversation was enlightening and depressing at the same time. Here are some excerpts where I refer to them as Zan A and Zan B:

Zan A: Va cheh laaghar o khoshgel shodie! Chee kar kardie be maa nemigie ha! Hatman behesh khoob midie, aareh?

Zan B: Manke nemidam, oon dost dareh model eh rapie mano bekoneh az posht…he he

Zan A: Khosh behaalet. Man bayad enghadr naazesho bekesham ke behem bedeh

Zan B: to be een khoshgelie! Hayf eh to nist?

Zan A: areh baabaa. Aslan doost nah daareh mano bekoneh. To een yek saal, shayad 3 baar taa haala mano kardeh oon ham hamash 2 daagigeh bood. Man zeshtam L

Zan B: nagoo in harfo. Khailie delesh bekhaad. Aslan boro baryeh khodet ye dost eh pesar paydah kon beh oon bedeh o haal kon. Injah Emrikaast!

Zan A: Raast migie akheh taa kay sabr konam, ha? Haala keh baayad pishesh bemoonam taa Citizen besham baryeh maamaanam o baabaam green card begeeram badesh mizanam dar koonesh miram…

The conversation with on and on into seriously graphic details, from barely legal porn to plastic surgery on vajayjay, which I’d rather not share. I found the whole conversation about rapie, daadan, mikoneh nakoneh, adultery, green card deals,… very depressing. However, it all made me think if the commonly used term of “daadan” is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s all about our perceptions of sex. May be sex is perceived as a trade in our culture even between man and wife, wife and boyfriend, and man and sigheh. May be we are expected to be natural born prostitutes, are we?

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