2012 Oscar Nominations: A Satire


By now, I have become a dutiful Iranian American and confess that I enjoy “A Separation”, by Asghar Farhadi. I am sad that it has not been nominated for more Oscar awards and I believe this is because of US and EU’s recent sanctions on Iranian products. I am looking forward to IRI pretending to close strait of Hormuz as a form of protest to why this movie has not been nominated for more awards.

I can’t wait til “Rooney Mara” wins the award for best actress. It is rumored that both AN and Khamenei have fallen in love with her. They find the way Rooney fights rapists in “The Girl with the dragon tattoo” kind of a turn on.

Woody Allen might have been a scumbag when he fell in love with his partner’s adopted daughter and started living with her. However, he is all forgiven after he directed “Midnight in Paris”. His movie is nominated for best picture, screenplay, and art direction.  Additionally, he is nominated for best director. In this movie Woody ‘s character owns a Photo studio. Golshifteh Farahani; an Iranian movie star takes many pictures in this studio and among them, there are some nude poses.

One midnight in Paris as Allen’s character develops the pictures, he falls in love with Golshifteh, but he is also a crazy man so he stalks Golshifteh. When Golshifteh does not respond to his advances, Woody’s character releases nude pictures of Golshifteh. 

Then Golshifteh has to be transported in time back to Iran during 1970s and she becomes pregnant by a young Behorooz Vossoughi.  Farahani loses the baby as she is forced to March in too many demonstrations for “Rastakhiz”.  Secretly Golshifteh is a member of Fadaian and engages in Gorilla warfare. After that, movie shows Golshifteh’s daughter crying and saying that Behorooz has always wanted a boy.

Meanwhile in 2011 Paris, Allen ‘s character gets to take some pictures of Leila Hatami who has just separated from her husband and is looking to find a new boyfriend.

I also liked the biograpgy of “Victor Hugo”. My favorite scene was where pages of his book “Les Miserables” get torn by all Iranian girls who were named “Cosette” by their Miserable loving moms. No matter what their last names were, so they ended being named “Cosette Asghari”, “Cosete Abdolhameed”, “Cosette Ghazveeni”, etc.

I enjoyed Descendants but come on guys. Best movie. Don’t think so.

I have not seen “Artist” but I read how an article noted that Artist has not been nominated for sound mixing or sound editing. Duh!

In conclusion, I am rooting for “Midnight in Paris” to win all awards it is nominated for, so it can put an end to all the mean comments about Golshifteh. Oops, I meant all awards where it does not compete with “A Seperation”.


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