I dislike most things Disney, as fake and fluff; but kids make some sacrifices necessary. They advertise that Disney World is in Orlando, but it is at least an hour away in the nowhere land. Well, I guess some credit should go to the Walt and Company for draining a swath of swamp land, and building a bunch of theme parks on it … but they won’t get that credit from this grump.
I hate fake things, be it fake boobs or fake buildings. We stayed in the “Dolphin” hotel, whose hallmark statue is actually a freaking fish with scales! Now, excuse me, but if Disney didn’t know the difference between a swimming mammal and a water-breathing mahi-mahi, then what exactly did they know?
Well, they know a lot about mass produced, sterilized and “wholesome” entertainment. Meaning that if you want a family vacation in as safe, as fun and as worry-free place in the US of A, as humanly possible … you got to make the trip to Orlando. Actually, each year, 52 million people do!
So why didn’t I enjoy the trip? Was it all the tasteless meals (all healthy though), the artless and fake boardwalk (safe day and night actually), or the theme parks with huge lineups (kids loved it)?
I have to admit: it’s my fault – I’m a barbarian! I don’t like technology. I hate fake pavements. I hate fake gardens. I hate sub-zero air conditioned hotels!
Why should the freaking facets be automatic? Why can’t I walk on some real dirt or real sand? Why are the plants and flowers so neat and insect free? Why should I have to wear a thick jacket indoors, in the hot and humid Florida?
Was there anything that I enjoyed in that trip? Yes, some new big huge sweet and soft thin-skin seedless oranges (probably genetically modified) … which I simply loved.
