The writer of the following paragraphs is Andrew Levander. Although, I believe that on-line relationship is a symptom of a problem, not the problem, I find his article mostly accurate and well written. I hope you find it interesting and informative.
Marriage is proprietary, by nature. Exclusive, by design. It is a commitment to look first to your spouse, your mate, your life partner, for intimate connection. Consciously pursuing another relationship which has that high level of intimacy could be called emotional adultery. A Cyber-Affair. Whether or not sexual intimacy has occurred, your spouse will feel betrayed because you’ve gone outside your relationship to provide for the very need which that relationship was created to fulfill. It’s like saying to your spouse, “You are not enough. I’m going elsewhere.
The longer this continues, the more damage is done to the marriage relationship. The more you attach to the on-line connection, the more you detach from your at-home one. The ensuing distance creates resentment, anger and confusion in your at-home relationship and the more attractive the on-line one grows, creating a vicious circle.
Not every on-line relationship will result in a physical affair. In fact, most won’t. The very anonymity of the on-line relationship, for many, is essential for providing the security necessary for “total” honesty. The other person may have no desire to go beyond the parameters of the computer screen. You may never know “real” information about a person you correspond with on-line.
On the other hand, there is mounting evidence of people leaving their established relationship to begin new, physical relationships with those they’ve been corresponding with on-line. People have left spouses, cities, even countries, to physically connect with those whom they have already electronically connected. All from the comfort of their own home, some with the person they will eventually leave unsuspecting in the next room.
So, What is the answer ?
I appreciate your comments.
