In a heartbeat
In a smile
In a kiss on the cheek
In a look filled with passion but disguised in friendship
Love was lost
In waiting for a train on a platform
In the loud sound of speakers announcing your departure
In words that could not be spelled out … lingering in the throat, choking you
In hands that reached and touched but did not dare to grab
Life in twosome was lost
The smiles and the sounds of laughter of running small people … girls and boys
The umbilical cord that was supposed to be cut
The first night to hold the first born
The union that never took place
Children unborn were lost
No fresh basil could be shared on the Pasta
No hot coffee could be drank while still naked in bed
No burning cigarettes to be shared mouth to mouth
No spicy red wine to be poured on her chest and make her want to sneeze
And so… scents and tastes were lost too
In walking in a park in the fall making a painting of the colorful leaves on the green canvas of the grass
In feeding the fish when sitting in the water under the sun
In chasing each other on a beach
In counting kisses and breaths when she lays next to me in all tranquillity
Pleasures were lost
The sound of her sigh
The rhythms, making us want to dance
Those starchy, crispy sheets in the middle of night when she would turn around
Her prayers
Sounds were lost
What if I had told her?
What if I had stayed?
What if I had dared?
What if SHE had dared?
What if?
Like the leaves falling from a tree in a golden October morning
Years have removed themselves form the time buffer of my life
And the unknown haunts
The IFs come out from the backdoor of my memory and shake their heads and click their tongues and look at me with pity! As if to say … all you needed to do was to dare.
What if?
Strange … a moment of hesitation can nullify a full life
A daring heart can change the course of a whole life
So much lost
No more ifs, no more buts
Better to love and lose than not to love at all.
