There’s this state second to none, where it’s normal for you to have a doberman dog as a pet when other neighbours around you are uncomfortable with such animal presence as it corrupts their prayers, finally complaints to the ‘justice’ system removes the doberman dog from your house, by force. In such state, it’s normal to have your little toy dog ‘arrested’ as it’s considered impure. In such state, being of aryan race and seyed at the same time is something common, just as it’s listening to koran and rap music at the same time. In this very unique state, you don’t need prostitues because you can get a very young and beautiful lady simply by having a ‘legal’ paper allowing it (it’s called “sighe”) You can get rid of her anytime you want. In this state, it has become very common using cranes to hang people in public, in front of children and passebys that tend to record the ‘event’ on their cellphones. If you happen to run over someone on the highway, your life depends on the ‘whim of the deceased relatives, which in some cases has to do which how much you can pay, however, you may get lucky if all that happens on some a specific religious day, therefore having a much less severe punishment. In this state, it’s normal to make list of what you have and specially what you don’t have in order to get married, nobody seems to care about your cultural level or your humanity, do not even mention these things to them, they just want to know how much you are worth. There’s a very interesting system of leaving the state, a very sofisticated one, if you are a woman (or even a man) you can try to get in touch with someone abroad looking for a couple in Iran, you fall in love, making him/her falling in love and then, once you get your greencard or permanent resident, just kick his/her ass (your relatives will understand!) If you are a woman and have had sexual relationships with opposite sex and have kissed your virginity goodby long ago, do not worry if you decide to get married with a religious pooldare taze be doran reside, there’re plenty of doctors that will replace your virginity, problem solved (the jackass that married you won’t notice, as long as you act like an aftab nadideh) In this state, if you don’t have a nose operation, at least you can fake you had one by wearing a bandage on your nose (and by the way you can change your name from Javad to Hooshi) so it goes with your new looks. This is perhaps the only state where you can buy an EU state car plate number (you can choose any EU country) it’s normal then to put that on your car (hey, they like it!!) In this state, it’s normal to have your beaches split with a heavy huge black curtain in female and male sections and it’s even more common to have your public transit split too, so when you travel with your mom or sister, unique communication skills are needed in order to make sure you both get off the right place. In this state, for years, it was normal to have your national anthem in a language you don’t undesratnd (remember, the anjaza, anjaza, first words of the anthem?) In this state, most your young friends love celebrating the St.Valentin, and also like ‘sine zani’ and ‘zangir zani’ In such state, where yes means no and no means yes, you promise now and forget later and even the vice virsa happens. In this state, it’s just OK to have a president and parliment members from the most awkward and low class sector of your country. It’s very comon to consider your fellow citizens of the state as the most intelligent people on earth and then having retired russian scientists setting up your nuclear power plants (so instead of a chernobyl you may get a akbarbyl!) being in love with America and Imam Hussain at the same time, just fine! However, the most common feature of this state of shoore hosseini, is indeed, the denial. The denial of all the above and everything else!
This is the state of dumbness, nonsense and above all selflessness.
This is the current state of Iran.
