I thought I'd come to hate
The unfulfilling feeling
Of waking beside a loveless
Human being
Too proud to pleasure me —
And it amazes me how I came to live
With the unbearable guilt I once felt
For putting the cage
Too close to the heater
And killing a creature I had forced
Into confinement
I thought pleasure was pain
And that those cold, curt moments
Could strip me of purity
But I have forgotten,
The sound of my grandfather's voice
Who laughed himself
Into a vegetative state
While playing Spades
————————–
——————
And that autumn day I saw a ray
Of sunshine through the rain…
————————–
——————
I had forgotten,
The way it felt to be lifted
By those soft, caramel hands
For the first time
The two hands of the man
Who spilled his seed
So that I may live and breathe…
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