Advice |
|
July 25, 2002 Send us your questions and comments * She's lost her excitability My partner and I have had a healthy and enjoyable sexual relationship ever since we got to know each other (approximately 5 years ago). It was after the birth of our first child that she suffered from bouts of depression and gradually lost her clitoral excitability. These days she can hardly reach climax and, unlike the old days when even a brief penetration or touch would bring her to climax. What do you suggest to be done? Can we seek medical treatment for this problem? We live in England and my partner, advised by her doctor, is now taking anti-depressant drugs. Whenever she stops taking the drugs she can have orgasm (sometimes multiple orgasms) but when she resumes taking the drug (her doctor has changed the drug several times to enable her to reduce the side effects and improve her sexual activities, but to no avail) it is like water on the flame. Her doctor says that treatment has priority over her sexual enjoyment. But this is affecting both of us because sex has now become an exhausting, painful and unsatisfactory activity. My partner now wants to know if there is anything I can use to help me postpone
my orgasm. She thinks if I last longer (may be for an hour or so) that will help
her to reach climax. Is there any harmless substance I could use to prolong my erection
and postpone my orgasm? Lover
Abjee Fotti and Abjee Pari write: Definitely sounds to us like there is a potentially serious problem here. Recently cases of post partum depression have been highly profiled in the media so you should know it is not something to treat lightly or as a phase. Since it is the abjeez's firm belief that sexual enjoyment goes hand in hand with emotional well-being, we would suggest that you and your partner TOGETHER seek some counseling about her depression. Outside of post partum depression, it may be that there are other causes of her depression. Does she have trouble sleeping at night and sleeps all day? How does she react to your child? Please be communicative and understanding. She may be even more self-hating because she thinks she may have failed you in
some way in the physical sense. You seem like a sensitive person. Therefore, continue
to be supportive of her but gently suggest that the both of you may need to get some
assistance for the sake of your child and of your relationship. We maybe old fashioned but this aspect of modern medicine that tends to throw drugs at whatever mental ailment one suffers from seems to be a band aid solution to an open wound problem. The reason that your partner goes back to her depression every time she finishes a bottle of pills is that this is an artificial stimulant. The deeper emotional roots of her depression have not been touched or explored, they have been covered up under chemically induced euphoria. What worries us is that you say the doctor keeps changing the prescription. We believe this means he must increase the dosage or prescribe a stronger chemical every time. (Please you doctors out there correct us if we are wrong). Our common sense tells us that if you take a drug for a long period of time you build up resistance to it so that it does not affect you anymore. Therefore, you graduate to a stronger level of pills etc etc until you are totally dependent on a high level of chemicals. This may lead to substance abuse. Maybe it is the fact that your doctor is not knowledgeable or simply does not
take the post partum depression of a woman seriously. This is a sad approach in this
day and age where we have seen first hand what can happen to mental conditions that
go untreated. Best regards,
|
|
Reply|
|
Web design by Bcubed
Internet server Global Publishing Group