eUnveiled
For young Iranians on the prowl, the Internet is the ultimate
veil
Kelly Niknejad
May 7, 2005
iranian.com
Source: Columbia News Service
Soon after Iranian.com launched in September
1995, Iranians from all over the world flocked to the general-interest
site to share stories of exile and nostalgia, to pontificate on
the latest headlines and ayatollahs. Iranian.com -- and the World
Wide Web -- also paved the way for Iranians from the Beverly Hills
to the Islamic Republic of Iran to come out and express their sexuality.
At the turn of the 21st century, an Iranian-American noticed a flood of messages
from Iranian strangers each time she logged on to her instant messenger service.
Her first thought was that most were from Los Angeles, where the largest concentration
of Iranian immigrants reside outside of Iran.
But an adjective in one message struck her. “Take a look
at my photo,” one guy implored, after several unsuccessful
attempts at beginning a dialogue. “I’m really quite ‘ghashangh.’”
Ghashangh? The word, meaning “pretty,” was something
her grandmother in Tehran might use to describe a young boy. What
macho Iranian-American in California would refer to himself that
way?
She wrote him back. “Are you in Tehran?” she asked
on a hunch.
“Yes,” he said, “Aren’t you?”
As it turned out, all the messages were streaming in from Iran.
And that was a surprise. In the Islamic republic, the most innocuous
forms of courtships are prohibited. Authorities patrol the streets,
detaining couples in public, ordering them to show proof of an
Islamically sanctioned relationship. From schools to ski slopes
to stretches of beach on the Caspian Sea, the sexes are segregated.
But since the 1979 revolution, there has been a population explosion
in Iran. Some 70 percent of Iranians are under 30. As they come
of age, with satellite television and the Internet, it has become
an increasingly difficult task for the government to control what
they see, hear and seek, especially when it comes to dating and
sex.
Even in the most religious parts of the country, young Iranians
log on to the world from the sanctity of their own homes, and flirt
away to their hearts’ content, even arranging secret rendezvous
with someone who may turn out to be a neighbor.
At HotIranians.com, a Web site where members post pictures of
themselves and have site visitors rate them, postings originate
from the holy city of Mashhad, from near the Iraqi border in Ahwaz,
or from the southeastern province of Kerman, among other locations.
Some of the women are tightly veiled, yet fishing for a compliment.
One profile in particular illustrates the contrast of the public
face and the private life. A young man brimming with pride at his
good looks poses for a Web cam. Behind him, on a mantel, stands
a framed portrait of an older, chador-clad woman. One eye peers
out from the Islamic garb, looking as if she’s taking in
her son’s break from tradition with scorn and skepticism,
but not completely devoid of curiosity.
For a long time, Mehran, a 40-year-old lawyer who travels frequently
between New York and Tehran, never thought he would have much in
common with Iranian women. In 1979, he left Iran, where he had
attended an American school, and in the United States, he dated
non-Iranians “almost exclusively.”
But because of satellite television and the Internet, he said
in a telephone interview from Tehran, “le chick or le dude
knows the latest fashion, the coolest way to think and the most
fantastic music. The Internet has opened up everyone’s mind.”
The litigator logs on to a more sophisticated Iranian dating
portal, Iranianpersonals.com, to set up dates for when he returns
to Iran on a long visit each year. “I’ve met great
women,” he said.
Since launching Iranianpersonals.com in 2001, Said Amin, CEO
and founder of WorldSingles.com,
has seen his Iranian site grow dramatically.
“Oh my goodness, it’s out of control how many in
Iran sign up,” he said. Approximately 35 percent of the 110,000
Iranianpersonals.com profiles are posted by Iranians based in Iran,
he said.
Sex is taboo not only in Iran, but widely remains so among the
Iranian diaspora, which is loath to part with the old ways.
A 16-year-old Iranian woman in New York who surfs cyberspace
with the name “AngelLove” was unavailable for an interview
because “My dad is here,” she said.
“Iranians don’t date,” said Amin, “or
at least not in the open. They get engaged, then say they are dating.”
When Amin wanted to start his Iranian dating site several years
ago, family and friends in the United States did not believe such
a public forum would be in sync with the private Iranian mentality. “They
did not see the vision,” he said.
It’s not necessarily welcomed by the government, either.
Islamic officials are increasingly finding ways to block access
to such sites. Starting a few months ago, Amin started receiving
e-mail messages about people being unable to access his Web site.
But he does not seem perturbed. “Supposedly the young in
Iran are so computer savvy that they are finding ways around that
too,” he said.
Amin got the inspiration for Iranianpersonals.com from “the
mecca of Iranian Web sites,” Iranian.com, he said. Iranian.com
published its first issue in September 1995, and long before the
first blog it began serving as a communal bulletin of ideas for
a young generation of Iranians everywhere.
Amin was surprised to see that such a diverse group of Iranians
existed. Their backgrounds ran the gamut, from Republicans to Democrats,
from hard-core nationalists loyal to the shah to sympathizers of
President Mohammad Khatami. Subjects range, too, from politics
to poetry; from Silicon Valley boardrooms to--well, yes--brothels
in Tijuana, Mexico.
It also appears that a new generation of Iranians first started
talking about their dating and sex lives in the open on Iranian.com. “But
it really quickly picked up,” said Iranian.com publisher
Jahanshah Javid. In fact, the number of blogs and Iranian Web sites
carrying intimate tidbits appears to be “growing by the hour,” he
said.
On Iranian.com, a presumed woman who goes by the name of “Nooneh” writes
about serial boyfriends and “Sarvenaz” details a romp
on a plane from Paris to New York and other sexual exploits--or
fantasies, perhaps. A photographer sends in a series of stills
depicting a driver picking up a tall, elegantly dressed prostitute
in Tehran.
Though the first of such articles drew outrage, Javid said, his
readers have come to expect anything. Much more outrageous antics
hardly get a response now, he said.
The entrepreneur Amin said one optional question on Iranianpersonals.com
asks members to rate their sex drive. “Honestly, that’s
kind of private,” he said. But “it’s surprising
how many people answered it.”
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