|
 We deserve itPalestinians are bad people, very very bad people By Ali Nikseresht April 1, 2002 The Iranian RAMALLAH, West Bank (CNN) -- Yasser Arafat, chairman of the PLO, and head of the Palestinian Authority now exercising self-rule in some of the West Bank and and the Gaza Strip, says no Palestinians want peace with Israel. We talked with Chairman Arafat today, now besieged in his office in Ramallah by Israeli forces. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Thank you very much for being with us, sir. YASSER ARAFAT: Thank you. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: What is the current situation in Ramallah? YASSER ARAFAT: Allah be thanked, we are now under constant bombardment and attack by the liberating Israeli forces. Most of the buildings in my compound have been destroyed, and we are hoping that soon my office will be pulverized as well. The city itself is finally without water or electricity and Israeli troops are carrying out executions of suspected terrorists, or people who have moustaches that make them look remotely like terrorists. I am so glad they are finally here. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: You seem surprisingly pleased at this turn of events. YASSER ARAFAT: Absolutely. I have finally realized that we deserve all of this, and more. The 1948 and 1967 wars were simply not enough. We have only a few million refugees, and only a few tens of thousand killed. We don't want peace - we have a martyrdom complex and the longer we live, the harder things will be for us. We may look like you and others and all the world may think we are innocent, but that is not enough. Look, what kind of an Israeli action is this? Our cities have not been totally ruined, and we can still breath - this is not good at all. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: And why is that? YASSER ARAFAT: Because deep down we Palestinians are bad people, very very bad people. For example we drink our teas with a lot of sugar, which as you know causes diabetes. Also we have way too many people who are well educated and have gone to college and have advanced degrees - I ask you, what are these good for? I myself have an engineering degree, and look at me. But look at Ariel [Sharon] who only went to military staff college. He is in much better shape than me. We have many other faults too - in fact I am writing a book on this topic. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Writing a book on the faults of the Palestinian people? YASSER ARAFAT: Yes, yes. I am in chapter three, which deals with our smoking habits. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Chairman Arafat, what is your hope for the future? YASSER ARAFAT: For me, or for the Palestinian people? ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Well let's start with the Palestinian people. YASSER ARAFAT: Ok, well, I dream of the day when the Palestinians are finally fully subjugated by the Israeli government - no more West Bank, East Bank, Gaza, Maza, ... I am tired. They should just take over once and for all. If this means a little more bloodshed, so be it. We are all terrorists and deserve to die - I ask you, why is this so bloody hard to understand? ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Well, I am a little shocked. However let's turn to your hopes for yourself. YASSER ARAFAT: For me, I don't know. Can you help me get a US visa? ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Pardon me? YASSER ARAFAT: As I told you I have an engineering degree, and have been studying Java and HTML over the past few months. Do you think I can get a job in that place of yours, where all the high tech companies are ...? ELIZABETH MICHELOB: You mean the Silicon Valley. YASSER ARAFAT: Yes! Yes! That is it. How much stock options do you think I can get with my experience? ELIZABETH MICHELOB: But Chairman Arafat, you can't possibly leave your people like this! YASSER ARAFAT: Who says so? I can do whatever I want - well, not right now, since I am holed up in this office. But as soon as the Israelis let me go to the restroom, I may just go for it and try to run away. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: But the Palestinians? YASSER ARAFAT: I told you, we all deserve to vanish from the face of the Earth. I am so happy Ariel [Sharon] has finally realized what a big threat we are to Israel, no matter how many nukes may be in the IDF's arsenal. ELIZABETH MICHELOB: Well, Mr. Chairman, this has been an eye-opening interview; thank you very much for being with us on this April Fools Day. YASSER ARAFAT: Thank you. This was written for April Fools.
|
|
|
|
Web design by BTC Consultants
Internet server Global Publishing Group