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If you want to change public opinion in the U.S., this is not the way

February 12, 2007

Let me ask you a question: Why is it that you seldom see an Iranian political scientist being invited by FOX or CNN news or the likes to discuss their viewpoints about Iran despite of all that is going on between the West and Iran and the fact that we have such a large population of Iranians in the US?

Well, before I collect your answers let me jump to a little scenario before I forget:

When she lived in Iran the Revolution was two decades old, and by the time she got out of Iran she was about seventeen. Daddy somehow managed to get her out of Iran thanks to the fact that his green card was still valid and he decided to leave Iran for good. A couple of years later in the US she decides to write books, essays and articles against the Iranian regime staging herself in the center of it all as a political refugee, an expert on Iranian affairs, a poet, a victim of Islamic atrocities, a scholar at large, and 'nokhodeh har aash' a jack of all trades! "Ya aba abdollah khodet beh dadeh ma beres"

Allow me to quote from the Chinese Nationalist Leader Chiang Kai-shek that usually under such circumstances without any hesitation or equivocation would say "Zereshk!" How did a 17-year-old attain so much experience in Iran to single handedly open a chain of assaults on her motherland? Well, the answer is that any Iranian female who is willing to write a book or give a lecture against Islam or Iran is welcome by the western mass media as this is the open season against the Iranians.

First, they'll say it is the Iranian regime that they are after and then all Iranians who stand up for their country become "insurgents" and later on they get divided between the two category of "terrorists" and "insurgents" And if all fails they say it is a sectarian war! "pass baba installation of Democracy chee shod?" Very much like what we saw in Iraq. So be careful when you assault your motherland.

Just because a couple of time back in Iran the lunch that mommy prepared did not have enough 'tah-deeg' or because she had to wear a scarf between her house and the dancing party at friends' house, or perhaps because she had a few bouts of diarrhea during childhood in Iran or just because she had to stand a in long lines to get the groceries does not entitle her or anyone else to act like a political refugee. Baby you are not a refugee, you just don't know what goes on in your country and you are being played by the western media and they buy your articles and put you on the pedestal and invite you to this show and that interview for as long as you write against Iran and describe the injuries inflicted on your emotions from Islam. "ageh muchesh konam khoob meesheh?" Enjoy the fifteen minutes of fame.

The bottom line is the Iranians living abroad are choosing wrong ways to express their feelings towards West's desire to humiliate Iran. Ahamdinejaad and the form of Islam known in the west are the two scapegoats giving them enough excuse to keep Iran from any progress.

When Iranians in the US attend demonstrations against any potential economic sanctions or military attack against Iran they should realize that going to such demonstrations with their Saks Fifth Avenue dresses or their Louis Vuitton purses (most of them copycats made in China) this only makes the Americans to mistakenly think that we are not the same as the fellows who live in Iran. They think we are "Americanized" and the ones back home are wild and fanatics. Case in point, recall back in college days that you used to get the compliments "oh, you don't look Iranians, you look so Italian"? Certainly the American who said that to you meant it as a compliment but in reality that is an insult. You look like an Italian but rest of your country looks so ugly!

If you want to change the public opinions about Iranians (the ones back home) you need to attend these 'stop war demonstrations' and perhaps do the followings:

Wear the same attire that an Iranian woman wears back in Iran. Wear a scarf, wear a Kurdish or Turkmen dress or whatever even a chador, but no Donna Karan por favor. And most importantly no bleach blondes to be allowed to participate. Nose job is OK.

Make lots of 'halva' and bring the whole pot and put it on the sidewalk across from the White House and serve the halva wrapped in noon lavash and carry it on a large tray and offer it to the public around the White House:

"Sir have some Halva, dahanetoono shirin koneen, we are Iranians against any attacks on Iran"

Keep passing Halva and noon to everyone including police officers, secret service look alike et al.

Do the same with several trays of Persian dates and zulbia-bamieh, and just offer them to the public and remind them you are an Iranian who has lived in US for many years and you don't want your country be a target of western greed, let them realize that we are no better than the Iranians back home. This leaves a good impression on the American public. The good taste of halva goes a long way. By the way let's not be shy and if there is any budgetary issues for the cost of preparing the food just pick up the phone and call Prince Reza's office (Shahvat Foundation formerly known as Pahlavi Foundation), he will be delighted to pitch in a few thousand dollars for a good cause, doesn't he? It's tax deductible anyway.

Iranian men please avoid carrying Starbucks coffee in one hand and the placards in the other this makes you look Americanized. Carry a huka and smoke the hell out of it and offer it to the public.

Men also to avoid wearing blue jeans and expensive shirts when going to these "no attack on Iran demonstrations" just wear pajamas and a sandal! You recall back home we used to go to 'noonvaee' with pajamas so why not here, be an Iranian for a day.

Celebrity voices have also been proved as a very effective tool to change public opinions. So let's find out if Oscar winner Sally Field is willing to participate in these demonstrations wearing the same black chador that she wore in her low-budget movie "Not without My Daughter" Perhaps she is not as angry anymore and at least can help with the halva distribution if nothing else. Comment

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Jeesh Daram

Jeesh Daram



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