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Club Axis
Enrolling Syria in the world's most exclusive group
April 19, 2003
The Iranian
To: Dr. Bashar El-Assad
Syrian Arab Republic's President for life
Yousif al-Azmeh Square
Damascus, Syria
Dear Bashar,
I am very excited to give you a complimentary membership
to the ever superlative Axis of Evil Benevolent Association. This
club is a wonderful organization designed to teach rogue nations
and evil empires about international affairs while at the same time,
building life-long friendships.
I would understand your hesitation, but you have been
recommended by honorable individuals, including Deputy Secretary
of Defense Paul Wolfowitz and Israeli Finance Minister Benjamin
Netanyahu. That creepy-crawly Arafat also made a late call on your
behalf .
This year holds many exciting events in store for
club members, and in particular, for you. The American Israel Public
Affairs Committee (AIPAC) will be distributing documents shortly,
proving without any misgiving that you have been importing aluminum
tubes from Gabon. In addition, The New York Times will
find the chap that sold you the tubes and interview his uncle, sooner
or later. With any luck, this could potentially qualify you to be
liberated soon.
Our club also has several events planned. In Mid
July there will be a Karaoke Night in sunny Pyongyang. Last year,
that scheming Saddam had all of the Britney Spears songs memorized.
We will also have the pleasure of hearing fascinating speakers from
several disciplines and walks of life at our weekly meetings, including
the author of Healthy Dictatorship for Dummies, by the
distinguished El Commandante Fidel Castro.
You will also meet an amazing group of hard-working,
fun-loving individuals from France your former colonizer, who will
become your best and probably only friend now.
I am really looking forward to meeting you and welcoming
back all of our returning members. Sure, we will miss Saddam and
his boys, but thanks to neo-conservative crusaders in D.C., this
club has become bigger than one nation or one leader.
I look forward to seeing everyone at our next meeting.
Until then, Go Axis!
Richard Perle; Honorary World Order Architect
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