There is always a way to find that special something -- even
October 12, 2004
Ever wondered what became of the
little kid you once were? In the trance of time, that child slips
seamlessly into the adult
you. Really, that child has life, needs and ideas. It lives without
all the personality armour that most people hang from their face
to hide feelings. Is there an age you consider to be the real you?
Is there anything you're missing from that time in your life?
In the journey through our teenage years when we first start
making sense of romance and the concept of that first kiss, through
adult life, where a kiss becomes a 'snog' and romance
is disclosed in sex for some. Where is that eligible bachelor?
We have all got stories to say.
I am sure; all of you out there have a first kiss story, or a
gesture of goodwill that has been marked as the most romantic encounter
of your life. Life surely would have been empty without that little
something. No matter how insignificant it may look to you,
to another audience it may come as the sweetest thing they have
ever heard. That is perhaps because in their eyes it is new or
We live in a world where we have created speed dating as a form
of meeting that special someone or a means of entertainment, I
which, (no comment... I wouldn't know!). Let's start with internet
dating and chat rooms. You start hearing a new and revolutionary
set of stories. It is no
longer just stories about the girl next door or the woman on the
bus or the cute guy by the copy machine... it has been taken to
a different level.
But to some, Internet dating turns out to be just as romantic
and special. I am sure you have all come across someone you know,
work, or even closer at home, one of your friends, who has been
through that experience. The talk is that the success/failure rate
for e-love is the same as other dating methods.
Recently, I read an article about a guy who drove 10 hours for
his first kiss. And they live 'happily ever after'. That's how
we hope every story in our life ends. We yearn for a nicely-rounded,
neatly-completed, picture-perfect outcome, even though we know
that this is planet Earth where such things never happen. In reality
most solutions end up fudged. We reach uneasy compromises. We settle
for "the best we can get" and, if we're lucky, we learn
to love it.
It's strange really. We spend half our lives struggling
to make things happen and the other half struggling to stop them
from happening. Like jugglers, working with oranges one minute
and freshly-laid eggs the next, we have to keep remembering what
we're doing and what we're dealing with.
But could this so called happily-ever-after
have anything to do with luck? There was a story in the news recently,
about a chap
whose marriage had broken down... and so had his car. He had lost
his job and been hurt in an accident. And then, two weeks after
his divorce came through, he won the lottery! Nobody knows exactly
how luck works. We all, though, have our theories.
some who suspect that fortune is rather like a balance, when
of the scale goes right down, the other goes right up. They
even argue that we should worry when we are being very lucky lest
that's a sign of imminent disappointment. Whether they are right
one thing's for sure... whatever will be, will be! Be
it the guy next door, or the guy who keeps you up all night at
you into his world from across the Atlantic.
I am sorry, I don't
mean to be a pessimist. If anything I started writing
this article with a truly positive attitude. In fact, I take the
guy who drove 10 hours for his first kiss, and raise him a
Now... that... ladies and gentleman is a first kiss story
you can tell your grand kids!
What some people do, for love!
I guess, what I am trying to pull together with the all the mishmash
here is that no matter how, or where, or in what era, there
is always a way to find that special something. And sure it is
commitment, or so it seems before you have done it. And you
may be feeling overwhelmed, thinking that, it may be arriving with
a sense of turmoil, a crisis of some kind, or the fear that
going to be impaled on your own truth. But think of it this
way: you won't know unless you try!
Is that what they say; "To err is human." So that's
all right then. We are all subject
to the same physical laws, psychological challenges and
motional pressures as all other people on this earth. Naturally
enough then, mistakes have been made, are being made
and probably will always be made. I guess to expect perfection
from anyone, oneself included, is just downright daft.
They say patience is a virtue, as if they are
trying to sell the stuff to us. But whatever patience is, it is
certainly not some optional lifestyle accessory. It is a screaming
So whether it's a 10-hour drive, or a 7-hour flight and
thousands of miles away, it doesn't make any difference... if you
feel it is
right... then perhaps it is!