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Flying kiss
There is always a way to find that special something -- even online

October 12, 2004

Ever wondered what became of the little kid you once were? In the trance of time, that child slips seamlessly into the adult you. Really, that child has life, needs and ideas. It lives without all the personality armour that most people hang from their face to hide feelings. Is there an age you consider to be the real you? Is there anything you're missing from that time in your life?

In the journey through our teenage years when we first start making sense of romance and the concept of that first kiss, through adult life, where a kiss becomes a 'snog' and romance is disclosed in sex for some. Where is that eligible bachelor? We have all got stories to say.

I am sure; all of you out there have a first kiss story, or a gesture of goodwill that has been marked as the most romantic encounter of your life. Life surely would have been empty without that little something. No matter how insignificant it may look to you, to another audience it may come as the sweetest thing they have ever heard. That is perhaps because in their eyes it is new or plain different.

We live in a world where we have created speed dating as a form of meeting that special someone or a means of entertainment, I am not sure which, (no comment... I wouldn't know!). Let's start with internet dating and chat rooms. You start hearing a new and revolutionary set of stories. It is no longer just stories about the girl next door or the woman on the bus or the cute guy by the copy machine... it has been taken to a different level.

But to some, Internet dating turns out to be just as romantic and special. I am sure you have all come across someone you know, whether at work, or even closer at home, one of your friends, who has been through that experience. The talk is that the success/failure rate for e-love is the same as other dating methods.

Recently, I read an article about a guy who drove 10 hours for his first kiss. And they live 'happily ever after'. That's how we hope every story in our life ends. We yearn for a nicely-rounded, neatly-completed, picture-perfect outcome, even though we know that this is planet Earth where such things never happen. In reality most solutions end up fudged. We reach uneasy compromises. We settle for "the best we can get" and, if we're lucky, we learn to love it.

It's strange really. We spend half our lives struggling to make things happen and the other half struggling to stop them from happening. Like jugglers, working with oranges one minute and freshly-laid eggs the next, we have to keep remembering what we're doing and what we're dealing with.

But could this so called happily-ever-after have anything to do with luck? There was a story in the news recently, about a chap whose marriage had broken down... and so had his car. He had lost his job and been hurt in an accident. And then, two weeks after his divorce came through, he won the lottery! Nobody knows exactly how luck works. We all, though, have our theories.

There are some who suspect that fortune is rather like a balance, when one end of the scale goes right down, the other goes right up. They even argue that we should worry when we are being very lucky lest that's a sign of imminent disappointment. Whether they are right or wrong, one thing's for sure... whatever will be, will be! Be it the guy next door, or the guy who keeps you up all night at your PC, letting you into his world from across the Atlantic.

I am sorry, I don't mean to be a pessimist. If anything I started writing this article with a truly positive attitude. In fact, I take the guy who drove 10 hours for his first kiss, and raise him a 7-hour flight. Now... that... ladies and gentleman is a first kiss story you can tell your grand kids!

What some people do, for love!

I guess, what I am trying to pull together with the all the mishmash here is that no matter how, or where, or in what era, there is always a way to find that special something. And sure it is a big commitment, or so it seems before you have done it. And you may be feeling overwhelmed, thinking that, it may be arriving with a sense of turmoil, a crisis of some kind, or the fear that you're going to be impaled on your own truth. But think of it this way: you won't know unless you try!

Is that what they say; "To err is human." So that's all right then. We are all subject to the same physical laws, psychological challenges and motional pressures as all other people on this earth. Naturally enough then, mistakes have been made, are being made and probably will always be made. I guess to expect perfection from anyone, oneself included, is just downright daft.

They say patience is a virtue, as if they are trying to sell the stuff to us. But whatever patience is, it is certainly not some optional lifestyle accessory. It is a screaming necessity.

So whether it's a 10-hour drive, or a 7-hour flight and thousands of miles away, it doesn't make any difference... if you feel it is right... then perhaps it is!

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Book of the day

Crowning Anguish
Taj al-Saltana, Memoirs of a Persian Princess 1884-1914
Abbas Amanat


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