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What people say
About before and after the Revolution

By Heresh Rezavandi
August 27, 2003
The Iranian

I don't know about you guys but whenever I'm with other Iranians we always end up talking about Iranian politics. Here are some funny, sad, interesting, weird and very true comments about the Islamic Revolution:

"Before the revolution we used to pray at home and drink [alcohol] outside. Now we drink at home and pray outside."

"These second generation Iranians think going to Iran is about eating Noon Barbari; it's more fucked up than that."

"Before the revolution, grave robbers stole dead people's shroud. These days they steal the shroud AND shove a stick up the dead's ass." [The Shah was bad; the new rulers are a lot worse.]

"The 5-Toman coin is the biggest liar: 'Azaadi, Esteglaal, Jomhouriyeh Islaami' (Freedom, Independence, Islamic Republic)."

"Before the revolution we had the Shahre-No red light district, now brothels are in every street."

"The Revolution? It changed nothing, we still have poverty, corruption and political unrest."

"In the Shah's time, it was about knowing people in the military. Now it's about knowing people in the regular army, Basij, Revolutionary Guards, Police, vice sqauds, and mollas."

"We had a puppet regime; we've still got a puppet regime. The difference is we were living well before."

"The Revolution didn't affect North Tehran."

"Why is it that all politics is run by a small minority in Tehran?"

"In 1975 they asked my father where he was from. He held his head up and said, 'Iran' with pride. At New York's JFK airport these days, they gave you a full body check if you've got an Iranian passport."

"Iranians in Britain blame Jimmy Carter, Iranians in America blame Britain, Iranians in Canada blame both."

"Average beard length increased after 1979."

"I don't know what to do anymore. Here they call us FOB terroists, and back home they call us Gharb-Zadeh (Westernized)."

"I'm Iranian but I live in America. My home is neither America nor Iran. I'm so lost."

"Us second generation Iranians are so screwed. We speak Persian with an English accent and English with a Persian accent. Let's appeal to the UN for a home for all Westernised-Iranians."

"HAHAHAAH, the American ambassador to Iran in 1978 had an Iranian name, Cyrus, ironic huh?" [Untrue!]

"There are great differences between Irooni girls raised in North Tehran and L.A. The ones in L.A. are more Iranian."

"During the revolution they killed high-ranking officers in the Shah's army. In the next revolution they're going to kill anyone and anything related to the mollas. They're going to drag the fucking mollas in the streets with their turbans tied around their testicals, thrash their asses with chains used on Ashura, rip their dirty beards, whip them according to the number of times they took bribes, dip their turbans in acid, put it on their bleeding backs, and then hang them in trees along Vali-Asr Avenue, after castrating their bullocks and making them eat them, while mumbling 'Long Live the Shah'."

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By Andre Dubus III

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