 Mental fitness
Psychological activistism
Payam Ghassemlou
August 10, 2004
iranian.com
As a citizen of the planet earth, I find myself feeling sad about
the current violence in the world. War, disease, poverty, homophobia,
racism, discrimination, global warming, mistreatment of the planet,
child abuse, etc., are all very sad examples of how human beings
relate to each other and to the planet. This hateful mistreatment
of one another needs to be understood from a psychological perspective.
Most political analysis of the current world situation
lacks a psychological understanding of the individuals who create
and implement
hateful policies. Furthermore, people who rally behind these
leaders and support their hateful policies should be understood
from a
psychological perspective.
Where do dictators and their followers come from? They are certainly
not born that way nor did they invent cruelty and crime. Dictators
are individuals who were tormented as children and were never given
the opportunity to experience their authentic feelings including
their shame, hatred, and rage regarding their torments. As adults,
they generally idealize their abusive childhood and believe it
was done for "their own good." However, not everyone
who was abused as a child will become a criminal. According to
Alice Miller, the world-famous Swiss psychoanalyst,
"Every criminal was once a victim, but not every victim
necessarily becomes a criminal. It depends on whether an informed
witness can help the victim to become aware of the cruelty
experienced, that is, to feel and see the cruelty inflicted on
him. Every adult
criminal lacked this witness in his childhood; otherwise he
would not have become a criminal. But it is never too late for
this witness
to appear. Every crime is also a cry for help....They can change
only if they sense, not merely intellectually, but with their
feelings, how they have been turned into evil people."
 I believe feelings do not kill, action does. In particular, giving
permission to feel one's feelings consciously is different from
acting them out. When a child (child here refers to both male or
female) is exposed to cruelty and mistreatment, generally there
is no one around to tell him what's being done to him is wrong,
and he is entitled to hate his abusers. With this understanding
and empathy, the child would be less likely to torment others.
In her book, Banished Knowledge, Alice Miller stated, "Many
people still have no idea that they are placing dynamite in our
world when they abuse their children." As stated previously,
people who were mistreated as a child can mistreat themselves and/or
others unless they had an "enlightened witness" in their
life who helped them to condemned the abuse. Adults who defend
their abusive parents are at greater risk of being harm to themselves
or others.
For example, in every dictator's childhood one can find
tales of abuse and torment. Only if Hitler had someone in his
childhood defend him from being tormented by his father and condemn
the abuse,
then history would have turned out differently. I am not excusing
Hitler's behaviors or any dictator's actions. I am making simple
but radical points regarding the root of today's world problems,
i.e., the world's violence stems from mistreatment of children.
 The road to peace starts with protecting children from cruelty.
Individuals who were violated as children and never dealt with
their abusive past are more likely to support sadistic leaders
who are like their own abusive parents. Parents need to be
mentally fit before bringing children to this world. Political
actions
and leadership that have been performed by individuals who lack
psychological
understanding of themselves have contributed to the current
dysfunction of the world. Every adult has had a childhood.
Childhood experiences
impact on how individuals treat himself or others unless he
works on changing that.
I was once asked by a concerned parent
on the
best way to raise his child. Since humans are more likely
to repeat what is familiar I encouraged him to examine his own
childhood
and avoid recreating some of the negative events that took
place in his own childhood. In order to identify negative
childhood events,
he needed an empathic listener to help him identify those
traumas. Psychotherapy can be one of the safe places to explore
one's
painful childhood dynamics and heal. I believe this healing
is a form of
activism because it can contribute to world peace.
We live in an imperfect world. Every adult must have encountered
a negative event in his childhood. Even the best mother cannot
satisfy all her child's wishes and needs. A child must be given
permission by his parents to articulate whatever it is that causes
him distress, express feelings about it, and receive empathy. This
way the event won't become emotional baggage later in his life.
We need to become honest with ourselves and discover where our
caretakers failed us. Sometimes it is not about what they did,
but more about discovering what they did not do. Working on childhood
issues has less to do with blaming and more to do with taking
responsibility for our healing.
 Every individual has an ethical responsibility to look deep within
himself and become more conscious of how his past is affecting
his relationship with himself and others. The inner journey of
discovering the truth about our childhood and avoid recreating
them in our current relationship to the world is a form of psychological
activism that could protect the world from further violence.
© This article is copyrighted by Dr. Payam Ghassemlou,
a psychotherapist in
private practice
in Los Angeles, California.
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