By Babak Morvarid
June 10, 2004
Hindsight is 20/20. I guess so, but it doesn't mean
that acting blind
should be used as an excuse.
Well, another national election is once again upon us and the great
American experience in democracy or should I say, hanging
chands is about to unfold. Just remember Floridians, Pat Buchanan
running this time so no excuses. But I digress!
So, we are electing an American president, hey?
Leader of the free world!!!(who started this stuff, a boxing promoter).
What, the big gahuna, top dog, main cheeze, what have you. Time
to see if
hisotry can be our guide. You know the cliche:
Those who don't know their history are doomed to repeat it.
So, boys and girls, let's look back at the not so distant past
there were any mistakes we can learn from.
During the election year 2000, two candidates were
being considered. I don't wanna hear about Ralph Nader! There
were two. One of them seemed really qualified. Yale. He had been a
senator and a former presidential candidate. He had been, up
to that point, one of the most influential vice presidents in American
political history. He had had a life changing experience and written
a book on environmentalism and our need to protect the ecosystem. He was,
in some circles, more popular than the twice elected
sitting president who was about to be only the second president since
Eisenhower to leave office with a majority
approval rating, even with all the oppositional mudd slinging and near
impeachment for having oral sex.
Gore, he's a family man, too. His kids are great; he loves his wife. A
lock, right? The total package.... but wait... One problem.
He's too ........BORING!!!
He's an automaton, not "sexy" enough (did
just say Eisenhower?). Yes, we Americans want to have sexy presidents,
but we don't want presidents who have sex.
The leader of the (drum roll) FREE WORLD, can't just be qualified, he has
to excite us. Who needs Woodrow Wilson?
we want Teddy Roosevelt mixed up with JFK! Hell, why can't Charlie Sheen
run for president, even though we know HE inhaled.
Okay, who's the other guy?
Much like the first guy, he was born into wealth and he too went
Ivy league. his grades sucked and they
continued to suck in college. Off to Harvard graduate school, anyway.
Great job George. After Ha'vad ya'd, he kinda shows up for military duty.
He then goes into the "oil business" and makes some friends. Hey, always
networking, this guy.
He did some drugs, maybe drank a little, hey, who
didn't. Important thing is, when his wife said stop, he did.
Then, he bought a baseball team and sold it for a profit. Now what? His
dad was the president. What about politics?
I'll run for governor, he thought and so he did.
He became the governor of the biggest state in the Union, the great
lone star state of Texas.
He lives in Crowford and in Austin(a great town by the way, great music).
Hey, how about president? Why not. If you're gonna do it, go all the
This guy, he's not too smart or have too many qualification,
but he's ambitious and he's going for it. There is entertainment
value to him,
though. Yes, he refers to the national budget as 'fuzzy
math' on national TV, in a presidential debate at that, and he
gets away with it! How? Why? 'Cause
he's likable that's why? He makes us laugh and he makes upfeel warm.
He's a regular guy. He dresses like a cowboy, drives in a pickup truck.
His grammar ain't no good neither, but he gets his point across just
fine, thank you. He's "a compationate conservative". He cares.
A close friend of mine, an absentee voter from Florida,
voted for Nader. He thought Gore was a "tool" and Bush
was too "stupid". Hey,
there are no issues in the 2000 campaign anyway. The world is safe, the
economy is booming. No cold war, no enemies. Everybody loves America!
Does it really matter who becomes president? He didn't think so. What a
Yeah, let's send a message to Washington, he said.
The election: A draw, no wait... BUSH WINS BY A
Heard you loud and clear my Floridian brother.
The message: Give us exciting candidates, not stiffs.
In the world of instant gratifications, marketing
demographics, star-power sex symbols,
blockbusters, sound bites, and over exposure, we want a president who can
entertain. It's not enough to be qualified, you gotta be a star. If you
can lead, that's good too. Who's Chirac? I'm sure he'll learn on the
job. Where's Afghanistan? Who cares? No one important lives there
He's good enough. Hey, what's the worst that could
happen? He's not very experienced, but he's got that Channey dude
as his VP.
He seems pretty experienced. He'll tell him what to do, say, whatever.
George'll figure it out.
Funny? ..... I don't think so.
One thing is for sure. One man really can make a
difference, for bad or
for good, even if he's just the leader of the free world. One
a difference too.
goodbye to spam!