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Iranian sailors detained in English Channel
Why are you there in the first place?


March 29, 2007

An Iranian navy boat carrying 15 marines has been detained by the British Navy for entering the English Channel 1.3 miles off course near the Isle of Wight. Teheran claims they were loading pistachios on to an Indian ship in international waters, when they were surrounded by the British navy.

Amongst the arrested sailors is an Iranian lady named Fatima Turani. "It all happened so fast," Turani told the BBC. "We were boarding pistachios onto an Indian ship when we were surrounded by Britsh commandos. They demanded we surrender or they would fire heavy machine guns and rocket launchers. We told Mr. Patel that we would have to send him the pistachios by FedEx. Unfortunately Mr. Patel was also arrested despite his attempt to inform the British officers that he had dual British and Indian nationality. A British commando responded 'You bloody Asian terroists look all the same to me!' I'm so sorry to the British government for apparently being in British waters in the first place. If we had known we were in British waters, then er, um, er, er er, er, anyway, we should have gone to France! I went to inform Mahmoud, but I couldn't interrupt his prayer. And then after he finished praying I went and asked the second-mate whether I could speak to him, but he turned me away saying my documents weren't in order. When I produced the correct documents he told me I had come to the wrong section, furthermore the special document allowing me access to Mahmoud wasn't in order and was missing an official stamp. Also it was an Islamic holiday and all departments were closed. He said the only thing in order was my temporary marriage certificate."

The UN is demanding the Iranians explain why they had their navy so close to British waters in the first place.

Not suprisingly, the anti-IRI satellite stations in the West are pointing fingers at the Iranian navy, and glorifying the British as angels. If there was ever a time to kiss some British and US butt, it is now, when war against Iran is around the corner. The Bush administration has put the names of the MEK leaders, Reza Pahlavi, Ibrahim Yazdi, Hashemi Rafsanjani (Koose, "the shark"), and Cabaret Party of Iranian Dancers chaired by Mohammad Khordadian and Soosan Roshan in a hat to choose the Islamic Republic's successors. Shabkhiz from Iran TV has absolutely no idea what is going on.

The Iranian authorities have produced a video clip of a GPS device (the size of a cellular phone) clearly showing the exact location of the Iranian boat in international waters. However, the Iranians have good faith in the UN in trusting their claim, despite no date being present on the GPS device, no other country willing to reveal satellite images of the incident, the USA and the French being surprisingly quiet about the whole matter. The Russians and Chinese are rubbing their hands speculating the long-term oil contracts they can squeeze out of Iran in exchange for satellite images. Comment

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Heresh Rezavandi



Borrowed Ware
Medieval Persian Epigrams
Translated by Dick Davis


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