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Evil cheetahs
Cloned Iranian Cheetahs possibly in parts of Alaska? Gasp!

By Sharif N. Mafi
February 7, 2003
The Iranian

Indian scientists have asked Iranian officials to lend them a pair of Asian Cheetahs, which have been extinct in India for cloning. -- News agencies, January 31, 2003

In addition to the generally perceived fact that Iranian leaders are a badly dressed, unshaven, distasteful bunch that entertains nasty thoughts about the independence of Palestine, they are now involved in the highly decadent and depraved act of cloning.

Saddam Al-Takriti is hiding chemical and biological weapons that the West provided him at earlier happier times. Dear Leader Kim Jong Il is enriching plutonium... and voila! The Iranians are helping to clone Cheetahs. How appropriate for the third founding member of the "axis of evil".

Given all this, one should consider that the Asian Cheetah, (Acinonyx jubatus venaticus) is the fastest mammal on earth. It runs in bursts of speed of up to 70 miles (113 kilometers) per hour and weighs about 125 pounds. It has now been reduced to an isolated group of around 200 presently living in Iran, and a handful possibly living in northwestern Afghanistan (another shady country).

Think about the harmful consequences to the moral fiber and conscience of the civilized (Western) world; consider the dangers to ethical and human considerations, and worry about the transfer of the dual use technology. In a few years we are going to have cloned Iranian Cheetahs in India, Europe, and possibly parts of Alaska.

On top of that; most likely these cloned Cheetahs will have hearts full of hate and are likely to be extra malicious. "I looked at the father, then at the son, and I thought, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Dr. Condoleezza Rice might soon argue on CBS' Face the Nation.

So in order to preserve justice, freedom and doing what's right these days, I strongly insist that each reader contact the Christian Coalition of America, Fuad Ajami of John Hopkins University, The Cato Institute, The American Israel Public Affairs Committee, and William Safire of The New York Times to support the "Cloned Iranian Cheetahs Sanctions Act of 2003". In doing so, we will once again support principled leadership and unwavering statesmanship in these difficult times.

In a world that is well defined on the fundamental basis of "either you are with us or against us", I certainly opt to be on the side that has the sole possession of moral clarity, and stand resolute against all cloned Iranian Cheetahs.

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