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Events of Persian origin
Sorry, at the time of print no verifiable source was available



Jeesh Daram
December 28, 2006

From time to time we hear about how a festival that the western world celebrates today actually originated in Persia. Problem is nobody gives us any information as where do they get such information from. Not giving the source document where the information was extracted can put a shadow of doubt over the validity of information.

Here is one: Christmas celebration was actually a Persian thing!

The first time I got that piece of historical claim was about four years ago through an email. Since then each year I get emails from more and more people each of whom remind me of this historical discovery with a little twist from prior year. How Christmas originated in Persia by celebrating birth of Mitra and then how the Romans stole the idea and replaced birth of Mitra with that of Jesus,. Persians used to bring pine trees indoor and put decorations on it and bla bla bla bla, etc. OK, I am a believer but could you tell me who the historian was that recorded this fact? Or did this dawn on you after eating a lot of "addas polo ba noon sangak?"

Here is my list of other Persian festivities copied or stolen by the western countries. Sorry, at the time of print no verifiable source was available.

* Thanksgiving Day in United States was originated in Iran (I have to check the exact date). Persians sacrificed a turkey whenever they bought or built a house. They called it Thanksgiving. The Germans later were inspired and made the song called "Dankichen oh Dankichen, Bittschen, oh Bittischen...." Persians used to butcher a turkey and stuff his ass with baked potato, rice and carrots and later on after having the meal they all used to sit around and watch from their windows the Thanksgiving Day sport which was the local Persian Polo played on the streets. Children used to go to their room and masturbate.

* Halloween was originated 2500 years ago in Persia when farmers celebrated the harvest moon each year in autumn. They used to put sheep skin on their heads and consumed lots of wine, raised hell and went anonymously after each other's wives and remained incognito! Until Arabs invaded Iran and put stop to that nonsense and put covers over women so that poor men don't get sexually excited seeing a woman during such festivities.

* What you think is Macy's Parade actually started in Persia during Safavid dynasty in the city of Isfahan. During that festival called Mayseer Parade people in Isfahan used to get a belly full of wine ('may' in Persian) and the word "seer" means a full stomach. That festival was financially sponsored by a famous shop in the main bazaar of Isfahan and carnival atmosphere was all over the market place. All shops used to put signs on their doors as "50% OFF" but in reality there was no discount. Later New York's Macy's the American department store stole the idea and took advantage of the similarity between the words Mayseer and Macy's!

* 4th of July was originated in Iran during the Saljooghian Dynasty and the contemporary mathematician and poet Omar Khayam. Each summer on the eve of 4th of July Khayam and his good old buddy Hassan Sabbah used to get together with bunch of their friends in Neshabour and celebrated Sabbah's divorce anniversary from his third wife (4th of July) by drinking lots of wine (Khayam was a wino) and then later that night setting fire on trashcans around neighborhood. Within an hour the entire town of Neshabour was covered with lights from the burning trash and the rancid stench of the trash. Later in United States they made sure that the Independence Day is celebrated on the 4th of July so that it would replace this old Persian celebration.

* Bastille Day celebrated in France each year for the anniversary of the date that the revolutionaries attacked the castle of Bastille in 1789 and the rest is history. Well, here we are again. This particular celebration also originated in Tehran, Iran a few decades earlier. The origin of the celebration is attributed to when religious people attacked and ransacked the red zone district of Tehran called "Shahreh-no", where prostitutes dwelled and provided their services legally. French later made sure to time their attack on Bastille with this Persian event.

Persians consequently rebuilt Shareh-no and allowed women to return to their business. However, after the Islamic Revolution, Shahreh-no was once again destroyed and like in France the monarchy came to an end in Persia. The new republic forced the prostitution to the streets of Tehran. The government's logic was that it's unfair that the people of north Tehran have to drive so far to visit Shahreh-no and by pushing and spreading prostitution all over the city they gave an equal opportunity to all the zealot fornicators.

A few other celebrations that originated in Persia are: Pasadena Rose Parade, Easter, Valentine Day, Memorial Day, Labor Day and finally Columbus Day and New York Marathon.

The modern Persian doesn't ask for proofs, she just takes it by faith. Comment




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