Name your price
This buying and selling one’s country for monetary gain reminds me of when I was a child in Iran

July 26, 2006
iranian.com

Because of my cartoon photo paintings sometimes I receive emails asking me how much I sold my country for. I have become convinced that some of these emailers are trying to find out what the fair market price for selling one’s country is. U.S. Department of State has $75 million to spend on anti IRI propaganda and regime change. At the same time I hear (without any proof) that IRI has a budget of $150 million to recruit university professors, artists, political activist, and so on to disseminate opinions in its favor.

Sometimes I hear ‘folani’ (such and such person) is making two thousand dollars a month for supporting the IRI regime. I have no idea whether these things are true or not, but I am sure it’s enticing to some people to know that they might be able to sell their country to the regime or the State Department, you know, extra cash to pay the bills, catch up with maxed out credit cards, opium, and things like that.

This buying and selling one’s country for monetary gain reminds me of when I was a child in Iran. There were always different kinds of vendors walking the streets yelling at the top of their lungs names of used items they were interested to buy. In particular there was a ‘kalimi’ (Jewish) vendor and his assistance that would come to our neighborhood and shout for used clothes. ‘koat, shalvar, pirahan mekharim’ (we buy coats, trousers, shirts). Many times he would ask my mother if we had anything to sell.

My mother usually didn’t have anything to sell since all our clothes were hand-me-downs from the oldest to the toddler. But sooner or later my mother would put a bundle of old clothes together that were basically nothing but a bunch of old rags. The Jewish vendor would ask how much do you want for these, and my mother would say I don’t know, how much do you buy them for? Then he would say you are the seller; you tell me how much.

And this type of bargaining would go back and forth till my mother would finally name a price, and the vendor always would say it was too much, and try to buy them for less.

I have a suggestion for those of you who are trying to sell your country but have no idea how much to sell it for. Write directly to Interests Section of the Islamic Republic of Iran in Washington D.C., or U.S. Department of State, also in Washington D.C., and give them your credentials, a sample of what you can produce for them, and tell them exactly how much you want to receive for selling your country.

If they accept it right away, know that you are selling your country too cheap, and next time try a higher price. If they don’t show any interest then you are asking too much and contact them again and tell them you take less.

Stop asking me, I don’t know.

P.S. Please don’t ask me how much I sold my country for because of this article.