THE IRANIAN
Today's Horrorscope
Dec 3, 1997 - Azar 12, 1376
God forbid
You decide to give your last $5 in New York to a fortune-teller. The Gypsy woman looks into her crystal ball; her eyes turn a terrifying red: "I see Persepolis levelled in a massive earthquake. Imam Reza's tumb needs major repair. Azadi stadium will be in ruins. You will no longer be able to brag about how Iran is the cradle of the greatest civilization AND soccer team that ever appeared on the face of the earth. You will simply be a human being, trying to survive and be happy solely relying on your natural instincts, intelligence and common sense. Good luck, my child."
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