THE IRANIAN
Today's Horrorscope
Nov 24, 1997 - Azar 3, 1376
Fantasy Airways
You will board a Lufthansa flight to Iran. No one will triple check your passport. Your baggage will not be searched insideout. Flight attendants treat you like you're David Hasselhoff and bring you extra fluffy pillows treated with Shabolazimi perfume. Dinner will include chelo kabob with Abali dough. They even offer miniature bottles of aragh sagi -- with mast-o-khiar of course -- for the occasional wild one onboard. The audio system plays "Googoosh" and "Golpa" songs all the way to Tehran. When leaving the aircraft, the crew will be greeting you at the door like they really think you're a civilized human being. "Hav a goot stay in ze beutiful Tehghan! Lufthansa caghes about yough komfoght und appgheciates yough bizness! Please dgheem again!"
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