This doctor shit is hard
Part 2 >>> Part 1
March 1, 2005
iranian.com
I'm a slacker at heart. If you gave me a one week break here
at college, I'd just walk around the house screaming James
Brown and Ron Burgundy noises until I got too hungry to not have
pants on and make/get some food. I'd wear the same wife beater
every day before showering, and it would carry the stains of my
culinary endeavors. This one isn't doing too well, and I've
only worn it for one day. I can explain.
Today I was blessed with
a snowstorm and one of my MCAT classes got cancelled, so I've
been living it up. At the top near the neckline are chicken flavor
ramen noodles, and ready-made spaghetti sauce that jumped out
of the pot is at the bottom. Yes. But let me get to the point:
in
the course of doing nothing, I have realized some important things.
 I have discovered that bouts of inactivity are a necessary part
of accomplishing anything worthwhile in life. If you don't
have time to be inactive and can only dream of being useless,
you have to find little ways to resist respectability. As for
myself,
I refuse to shave. Yes, I know it significantly ups my chances
of being deported, downs my chances of meeting women, and yes,
according to my mom I look like one of those Hezbollahi guys.
Here's the deal. For all practical intents and purposes, shaving
your
face is necessary only when the excess hair makes you start
to itch. If I shave too much, as in more than three times in
one week, I'll get bumps and cuts and it'll itch all the same.
I've realized from watching TV that America worships cops.
Every single show is about some kind of cop: blue collar
blue suit, polished and seasoned detective, young and sexy
forensics
people.
Some people hate real cops. I don't hate cops. Those dudes
on the first Law and Order are awesome, and witty too.
Sometimes I wish I was one of those forensics dudes, because
they always
find those empowered, aggressive, beautiful women that
are working their way up in a man's world. Plus, since New
York cops
apparently drive around the city all day, they are
free to
eat at any amazing New York deli, donut shop, diner,
or pizza parlor
that they so choose. That's amazing.
As for the MCAT? I've realized that freaking out is not
the answer, and my mind responded in kind by flooding
me with
mood-soothing chemicals. I read that chapter on AC/DC
circuits and now I
don't feel so bad about physics, and I took a break from
my job so
I have Saturdays to catch up on whatever I usually would
be studying like a madman for on Sunday.
 To celebrate
this, I
had a party
at
my apartment, and it was bumping until a neighbor who
has definitely partied with us before decided to bypass asking
us to turn
it down and just called the preceptor up. Can you guess
what her
name was?
Thanks, Fatima. We were having too much fun; who knows what could've
happened.
P.S. I have a reading recommendation for everybody: Black
Athena: The Afroasiatic Roots of Classical Civilization (thanks
for real, Trita Parsi).
About
Maziar Shirazi is a junior at Rutgers University, New Brunswick,
New Jersey. Features in iranian.com
*
*
|
