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My brain
The big head vs. the little head

November 1, 2002
The Iranian

The big head and the little head don't get along. There are tensions, conflicts, and hostility. While the big head is busy making money and planing for the future, the little head blows all the money and doesn't give a hoot about the future. The big head desires bright women with good family upbringing and positive cash flow. The little head chases trashy bimbos with tattoos and IQs lower than a nail polish.

The big head is focused on career; the little head is focused on peanuts and beer. The big head wants to change the world; the little head wants to do the world. The big head thinks; the little head drinks. The big head wants to commit; the little head wants to spit.

The big head cares about balance and checks; the little head care about nothing but sex. The big head wants a woman with beautiful heart; the little head wants a woman with her legs spread apart. The big head wants to learn a new trade; the little head wants to only get laid. The big head wants to get ahead; the little head wants to get a head.

Even though the big head occupies more space on the top, the little head wears the pants in the house. Eventually the big head understood the mighty power of the little head and gave up all together. The big head is smart enough to know it's no match for a fun loving, skirt chasing, hard drinking, bad ass like the little head. The little head is the king and that's that.

Like many hot blooded Iranian men, who live in LA and surrounding counties, I have been held hostage by my own little head. The little head is doing the thinking and the big head, not happy with the situation, has packed its bags and moved out. The little head is the decision-maker. So I do what the little head tells me.

I drive my German roadster with it's top down like a jackass, play loud house music, wear $400 sunglasses, wax my back, carry five cell phones and two pagers, buy $25 tequila shots, run from one club to another telling ladies that I'm an Italian movie producer.

The little head is ruining my life. I'm broke; I can't concentrate; I have no energy; I'm an inch away from losing my job, and I get no respect from women.

A renowned Los Angles psychologist recommended that I should express my feelings and communicate with the offending object. What a great idea...

little head, oh little head

you are killing me

I wish you would go away

letting me go free



you make all the decisions

you make every plan

I wish I could cut you off

and still be a man



little head, oh little head

I wish you would die

going to your funeral

you won't see me cry



you took all my dignity

you took all my pride

how could I stand the shame?

I must go and hide



I act like an idiot

horny as a dog

see a crack in the wall

BOOM 'solid as a log



spending all my money

on trashy tease

thanks to you some day

I'll die of some disease



little head, oh little head

driving me insane

don't you even try to act

as if you're my friend



if I didn't need you 4

peeing and for SHAG

I would beat you every day

like a punching bag



little head, oh little head

get out of my life

don't you worry about us

I'll, deal with the wife



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