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And melt you did
I'd take the cold Canadian winter over the warm American racism any day

By Narm
January 15, 2003
The Iranian

I have a lot of family and friends who live in the United States. They always ask me when will I move down there.

How do you live in Canada? they ask me. How do you take the long cold winters? Wouldn't you make more money here in the States? Isn't the nightlife dead there? They assume, like most of the world, that they live in the best place in the world, and why wouldn't anybody just move there, if they have the means?

So when the INS handcuffed a few hundred Iranians, among others, and held them "in custody" for various reasons, I was all smiles. "Dandetoon Narm... Haalaa bekeshid."

You see, there is a price to pay for living in the sunshine of La La Land, or living it up in New York. And you have just been reminded of that price. For all its hoopla about being the land of the Free, the "Great Melting Pot" is just that, a melting pot where you are expected to melt. And melt you did.

Why did you change your name from "Abbas" to "Albert"? Why do you not speak Persian in front of your customers? Why did you shave that mustache you were proud of? Why do you fly the Stars and Stripes? Why do you call yourself Persian?

The problem is that you don't look like one of them. You look like the September 11 terrorists. And those SOB's even shaved their beards, so they looked very much like you. And it's not like you live in a high cultured society, where the people make the distinction between "eye-ran" and "eye-rack".

Most Americans don't know the Middle East from a hole in the wall (a tough distinction, granted, but what's making the holes?). They can?t find most countries on the map, and they are especially confused about Persia, since its not even on it.

They couldn't care less anyways. And neither do you, as long as your bank balance outruns your credit cards, and nobody changes the name of your beloved Persian Drive into"heavens forbid...Hindu road [See: How Persian Drive was saved]. If such blasphemy happens -- yes by all means, stand up for your rights. You can beat down another minority.

Ironic that the only worthwhile protest the Iranian Satellite Channels were finally able to mobilize was in America, rather than Iran. And not much of a protest either. But that can be excused since the detainees were Iranians, not Persians, like yourself.

I'd take the cold Canadian winter over the warm American racism any day.

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