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Family first
The myth of repression and other topics related to the pro-choice movement


January 27, 2006

As many of you may be aware, the National Organization for Women recently held a pro-choice rally here in Orange County, California.

The gathering attracted its usual plight of 30-40 year old baby boomers in faded tie dye, along with a variety of women, young and old. The thing about these gatherings that always tends to crack me up as well as depress me is the high volume of 40 + year olds that came from an era in which they were spoiled and did not have to deal with the problems my generation (20-30 year olds) has to face.

There they are, standing along side 19-year-old college kids with signs proclaiming the evils of the “fascist right wingers who want to impose their religious hate and control our reproductive choices”. Down with the man! You can’t tell us what to do! It’s MY choice.

It is no secret that the baby boomers had it good. In case some of you don’t know, baby boomers is a term used to describe people who were born in a pre-war era were the “family unit” was still intact and acceptable. For reference, when I use the term family unit throughout this article, I am not referring to the mythical functional family. I do not believe this exists. All I am referring to are two parents, married with children, and in most cases during the prewar era, women who for the majority stayed at home and raised the children while the men supported the family.

Then Vietnam came. (Or even World War II for the boomers who date back that far).

As in any war, the men were called away to fight. This left many women at home not only to raise the family but to be the primary bread winners as well. It is my opinion that women were never intended to take on this role. But it happened, and the minds of women across America started to change toward the role of wife/mother/homemaker.

I believe women changed when the men had to leave for the war. Then they had to be both mother and father to their children. I also believe that the children of parents in this era were the ones that grew up to flourish in the 60’ and 70’s. This was the era of the sexual revolution. Yep, life was great for the baby boomers. They smoked pot, did acid, danced on the beach to Jethro Tull and everyone was sleeping with each other. Why wouldn’t they? I mean, there really wasn’t AIDS yet, or half of the other serious diseases we now have. Yep, life was good.

Fast forward to 2006. These same people stand in line and hold signs comparing conservative Pat Robertson to Osama Bin Ladin. Down with the man! Down with anyone who will tell me what to do! I have a Right! Me. Me. ME. Forget about future generations. Forget about preserving the concept of the family unit. Who cares? They had a mother and father to raise them. These same people gleefully go to voting boxes and support bills that want it to be legal for two men to get married and raise a child. But, I digress...

What is so destructive about abortion is not only that it prevents new life from entering the world, but the effects it has on the women who have them are devastating. Abortion, by far is the single most anti-woman concept invented. It is truly a contradiction to be a practicing ‘feminist’ in every sense of the word, but to endorse a practice of scraping out our wombs if we have an inconvenience in there. This is selfishness at its epitome. Any woman who shows up at these rallies with a proud feminist t-shirt on hasn’t a clue to what it means to be a woman and what we were created for.

And just what were we created for? According to most contemporary feminist thought, it is to relish in a mythical gender indifference. It is to attain some sort of superiority to men by proving that we can indeed shed years of perceived “repression” by taking on the corporate world full force, delaying children and family, or justifying leaving our babies with strangers while we go out and compete with our husbands in order to afford a newer car, or a second house.

Now, I am not against independent women who work and support themselves. I am one of those women and I think that it is great for any woman to experience this at least once in their life. However, I believe that when a women makes the conscious decision to have sex, she is taking the risk of being responsible for bringing life into this world. Sorry ladies, but this is how it works.

And once we are responsible for bringing another life into this world, it is essential to understand that it is no longer about us. We are responsible for the welfare of the generations who succeed us. Popular contemporary thought does not encourage or even acknowledge this. We live in culture in which we are encouraged to read “Self” magazine and to “Obey our thirst” because, after all, it’s all about us and our urges and what works for us right now.

Many pro-choice believers mistakingly assume that conservatives point a condemning and intolerant judgmental finger to those who either have had abortions or believe in the right to have them. Tolerance has only acceptable if it is directed to the liberal left. It is famously known that there is no such thing as tolerance for conservative-minded people in our society.  Speaking the truth about a procedure that is physically and mentally harmful and life threatening to women is not condemnation. We are women and life givers in every sense of the word. To deny that ability or to disregard the pain that is caused when we defraud ourselves as women of that right, is not natural.

I am not condemning anyone who has had an abortion. I have close friends and family members who have had them. I have seen first hand the devastating effects this has on women. I am just inviting you to contemplate for one moment how things could be better. I am suggesting that instead of preaching our ‘right’ for this and that, let us examine the bigger picture.

Let us assume, for one moment in the presumably archaic belief that women should abstain from sex until they are married. This concept is completely opposed to what our culture encourages. Sex is everything and everywhere in American culture. Children are allowed less and less time to be children.

For God sakes, Abercrombie and Fitch as well as Victoria's Secret both have a line of thongs that are for children between 5-8 years of age. Newsstands are overflowing with magazines that announce 50 new sexual positions to get a man to love you and stay with you. I can no longer listen to the radio or watch TV without seeing some sexed up ad, or listening to a man on the radio preach about the dangers of marriage, and how women are only “sperm depositories, and good for sex alone”. (To those of you who live in Orange County, you know who I am talking about).

But is it worth it? As popular culture become more and more self-centered, we embrace our selfishness as a ‘right’. This is so very sad. We have a right to sleep around. We have a right to ‘try out’ our boyfriend or girlfriend and decide if they will satisfy us after we are married. It is my opinion that marriage was intended to protect women and children. And believe it or not, there was a time in history when men were taught to want to protect women and children.

Many of you will email me saying that I am repressive and backward and need to get with 2006. Iranians are very passionate about their liberal rights. For Iranian women, I have found this to be most true. As I addressed in a previous article, the preservation of their rights and presumed “independence” is ferociously defended because of a history of true oppression from political Islam in Iran. This is justifiable.

I am not suggesting that we abandon our independence. This is an invitation to at least acknowledge that when sex happens within the safe confines of marriage, and with the understanding that we were created for family and life giving, we can be less consumed with preserving the autonomous rights we have over our womb, and more concerned with how we can better the lives of our children and our children’s children.

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